


Just Business

by chanyeolly



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gangsters, Anger, Angst, F/M, Fighting, Fluff, Gang Violence, Gangsters, I'm Bad At Tagging, Jealousy, Love Confessions, Love Triangles, Sex, Shownu is a badass, Smut, Unrequited Crush, Violence, some blood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-08
Updated: 2020-01-05
Packaged: 2020-10-12 16:00:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 37,905
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20567042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chanyeolly/pseuds/chanyeolly
Summary: Y/N's mysterious new neighbour has definitely caught your eye. He's quiet but the two of strike up an unlikely friendship. He doesn't speak about his work to you and you don't ask, but when his job puts your life in danger questions have to be answered once and for all.





	1. Strange Encounters

**Author's Note:**

> hiiiii ;D  
no one asked for this but it's been really fun to write, so here it is haha. thank you for reading! 
> 
> warnings: some blood mention in this chapter, stabbing, fighting, just violence in general.

It was almost midnight when finally reached your apartment building. Your shift was meant to finish at 9, but the bar was so busy you ended up staying late without even meaning to. As the manager it was expected of you after all, but that fact didn't make you any less tired. You parked in your usual spot and grabbed your bag, exiting the car and making your way to the main entrance. It was a large building made up of several contained apartments, filled with people a lot like yourself. Single professionals.

You entered into the main foyer, going to check for some mail. To your surprise there was someone in there already, unusual for this time of night. He was standing with his back to you, a letter in his hand. At the sound of the door closing with a soft _click_ he turned his head over his shoulder, the noise alerting him to your presence. You recognised him, having seen him once or twice before. He was new to the building, you knew that much. And that was where your knowledge on the handsome stranger began and ended.

His dark eyes met yours and you gave a small "Hello," out of politeness, just as you would do with any other neighbour. He didn't say anything, but gave you a small nod of acknowledgement, turning back to the paper he was holding. You said nothing as you walked over to your mailbox, seeing that it was full. For some reason you felt hyper aware of the stranger standing in this small room with you and hoped that he would leave soon. You really didn't feel like an awkward elevator ride with him.

You started flipping through your mail, though it was mostly junk and advertisements. "It's late." His voice startled you. You hadn't expected him to speak. His eyes were on you and you weren't sure how to respond to that...statement. You nodded, mimicking his action from earlier. "I never see anyone in here at this time." He continued and now it's officially the most you've ever heard him speak. His voice is deep and calm, and oddly you liked it.

"I manage a bar," You explained. "So I'm always coming home at strange hours."

"Ah, I see." He said. He turned to his mail box and shut it, locking it up for the night. "You should be careful coming and going this late. You don't know whose out there..." He trailed off.

You were a bit confused but replied anyway. "I am. I'm used to it."

"What's your name?" He asked, taking you by surprise for the second time that night.

"Y/N." You answered. "And you?"

"Shownu." He walked over to the door that led the way to the bank of elevators and pushed. "Stay safe, Y/N." He said, giving you one last look over his shoulder. He excited the mail room leaving you a little baffled at the exchange you just had. _At least he's polite_ you thought to yourself. You took your time closing up your mail box, hoping he'd be long gone from the elevators so you could ride up alone.

* * *

The next time you and Shownu crossed paths occured a little over a week later from your _chat_. Again, you'd done over time at the bar, this time staying even later. It was 1am when you pressed the call button for the elevator. You slipped your phone into your pocket after checking the time when suddenly, the door crashed open and in stumbled Shownu.

At first you thought he might be drunk, given the hour, but as you brain quickly processed what it was witnessing you realised that something was wrong. He was breathing heavy, as if he had just ran here, his chest heaving up and down. You noticed that his lip was split open and the blood trickled down his face. As your eyes followed the trail of red liquid something else caught your attention. His black shirt was soaking and although the colour did well to disguise it, you knew that was blood. The metallic smell of it invading your senses.

"Shownu! Are you ok?" Redundent question, and you instantly felt stupid for asking it. He didn't say anything as he slumped against the wall, his head tilted back against the brick. He clutched his abdomen in pain and you wondered what the fuck had happened. "Shownu," You stepped closer to him. "Here, lean on me." You grabbed the arm that wasn't wrapped around his waist and draped it over your shoulder. "Do you want me to take you to the hospital?" You asked, worriedly.

"No!" He shouted, his voice startling you. "No, no hospital. Please."

Although it was weird you didn't ask anymore questions, shocked by his insistence. The elevator dinged, signalling it's arrival, and you started to drag Shownu towards it.

"No," He said weakly. "I'm fine, it's ok." He stumbled a bit as he tried to stand on his own.

"You're really not." You replied. "Just let me help you, ok? If you die in the hallway you'll ruin the carpet." He reluctantly leaned on you again and the two of you fumbled over to the elevator. "What floor?" He shook his head. You were growing frustrated with his inability to accept help. "Ok, my place it is then." You muttered, pressing the number for your floor.

The ride was silent aside from Shownu's heavy breathing. He was heavier than you expected and you were silently willing the elevator to move faster before you collapsed as well. It reached your floor and you dragged him out along with you. "I'm gonna help you ok? I know some first aid."

You reached your apartment and unlocked the door. It was dark inside and you awkwardly fumbled for the light, still trying to support the huge man leaning on you. He was silent and it concerned you, hoping he didn't have a concussion because then he might really _need_ to go to the hospital. You stumbled into the closest room, the kitchen and sat Shownu down on the dining chair. He groaned in pain. "I'll be right back ok?"

He said nothing as you left the room. You walked to the bathroom and got the first aid kit you kept in there. As part of your training at work you had taken a first aid course, someone on staff had to know it and you had volunteered. Although this was _not_ how you expected to use your skills. You returned to Shownu and set up the kit. You washed your hands thoroughly, and put on a pair of gloves.

"What happened?" You said quietly, really not expecting him to answer. You wiped at his lip with a disinfectant wipe and he hissed in response, the alcohol stinging the wound. "Sorry," You said quietly. "I need you to take your shirt off, is that ok?" You felt a bit uncomfortable asking but you needed to know how serious his wounds were.

He nodded and weakly tried to shrug his top off. You gently helped him remove it and once it was off you placed it on the table, eyes running over his now naked torso. He was bruising already but you couldn't help but notice not all of the bruises were fresh. Was this a habit for him? You tried not to think too much about the answer to that question as you located the origin of the bleeding. "Shownu," You whispered, in shock. "Were you stabbed?!" The flesh was split open as if someone had sliced him, the cut running about two inches wide and god knows how deep.

"No," He said, a slight strain in his voice. "They cut me though." He gestured toward the wound on his chest.

"Should we call the police?!" You said, feeling a twinge of panic at the situation being more serious than you thought. You tried to reach for your phone in your pocket but Shownu was quicker, grabbing you tightly on the wrist.

"No police. No hospitals. Ok?" He wasn't asking. He was telling you. There was something so strong and commanding about the way he spoke to you, you couldn't help but nod, obeying him. You turned your attention to the cut on his chest. It would need stitches. Something you had not been trained to do. You started to clean up the blood, trying to be gentle so as not to hurt him anymore.

"I think you might need stitches, and I don't know how to do that." You admitted once you were finished. You'd bandaged up the scrape on his arm and cleaned him but that was about all you could do.

"Do you have super glue?" Shownu asked, strained, and you realised where he was going with this. You nodded. "Fetch it for me?" You walked over to the cupboard you kept odd bits in and fished around for the glue. You retrieved it and passed it to Shownu. "I need you to hold the wound closed for me." He instructed. You did as he said and tore the glue open with his mouth and quickly poured some into the cut, hissing in pain at the sensation. "Hold it until it dries."

"This really works?" You muttered to him.

"An old trick I learned in the army." He said through clenched teeth. You could tell it was hurting him more than he was letting on. "I think it's dry." He said after a few moments. You carefully let go, hoping the glue would hold. It did, thankfully. "Thank you," He mumbled.

"What the hell happened to you?" You asked for what felt like the hundredth time that night. "And you told _me_ to be careful!" You said sarcastically.

"I just got in a fight." He said and you knew there was more to it than that. You saw the old bruises and his insistence of dealing with this alone. You chose not to pry further. He was man of such few words you didn't think it would make a difference if you did.

"But wanted no police, or hospital?" You cocked an eyebrow at him.

"Exactly."

"I wasn't born yesterday Shownu," You mumbled, picking his shirt up. "Do you want to put this back on? It's soaking with blood. Or I might even have something you could wear?"

"If you have something that would be good." He replied, ignoring your first comment.

You walked to your bedroom and opened the bottom drawer where you had some old t-shirts that belonged to your ex boyfriend. You grabbed the first one you saw and headed back to Shownu. "Here," You said and handed him the shirt. He winced a little as he stood up to put it on and you couldn't help but notice his impressive figure, bruises or not.

"Boyfriend's?" He asked, and you realised he was referring to the ownership of the shirt. Most women don't have mens clothes just lying around.

"Ex," You corrected. He nodded in thanks and sat down again. "I can wash that for you if you want." You gestured to the blood soaked shirt still sitting on the table.

"That's ok, I'll do it." He replied. "Thanks for your help Y/N." He added quietly.

"Come on, I'll help you back to your apartment." You suggested.

He shook his head. "I'll be ok." He stood up, a little shaky but much more stable than before. You walked with him slowly to your front door.

"Stay safe, Shownu." You repeated his words back to him and you swore he gave you a small smile before leaving.

* * *

"Kihyun, you're soooo exaggarating!" You whined, playfully slapping your friend on the arm. He was doing a _wildly dramatic _impression of you being scared at the movie you two just saw. You laughed and shook your head at him as the two of you walked side by side to your apartment building.

"AH, ah, ah, _help me Kihyun!_! He mocked, pretending to cover his face with his hands. "You're such a baby when it comes to horror films." He teased.

"I don't like being scared!" You defended.

Kihyun wrapped an arm around your shoulders and pulled you into him. "_Coward,_" He whispered with a laugh into your ear. You just rolled your eyes and pushed him off you. Kihyun worked with you at the bar. Technically you were his boss, but you two always got on well so it wasn't unusual to spend time together outside of work. This particular night he'd begged you to go see a movie and now you both were headed back to your place for a drink. Working in the nightlife industry made you a little tired of bars and clubs, preferring to drink at home with friends.

You made your way into your building, Kihyun close behind. He followed you to the elevator, familiar with the surroundings having been here many times. "What do you have to drink?"Kihyun asked. He was standing behind you and he slipped his arms around your waist, placing his chin on your shoulder. You were close and he was always really affectionate so this behaviour was normal for you.

"I have beer," You offered. "There's a new wine that we might order for the bar. We can try that."

Before Kihyun replied the door swung open. It was Shownu. Your body tensed up immediately in Kihyun's arms, confusing him a little. You hadn't seen Shownu since the night you found him bloody and bruised in this same exact room, which was nearly a month ago. Since then there had been no sign of him at all, and you even found yourself wondering if he had moved out.

He stood there in the doorway, dressed in all black with a matching denim jacket on his broad shoulders, intimidatingly attractive and tall. You didn't miss how his eyes flickered over to Kihyun and realised how this might of looked to him but his expression was as usual, unreadable. "Y/N," Shownu said with a small nod.

"Hi," Was all you managed to get out. You felt stupid at how weak and small your voice sounded. Kihyun stood up straighter, his grip on you slackening as if sensing the weird tension between you and the stranger. "I haven't seen you in a while."

"I was out of town for work." He shrugged. The elevator arrived with a ding.

"You going up?" You asked him. He nodded and Kihyun let go of you so you could enter the lift. Shownu was last in and you noticed he pressed the button for you, easily remembering what floor you lived on. You noticed the one he pressed for himself was the one above yours.

"Floor 7 right?" He asked and you nodded.

The three of you rode in silence and you almost wanted to pass out from the tension. Shownu was half naked in your kitchen a month ago and now he was next to you acting like a stranger. He confused you so much. The elevator ground to a halt at your floor and Kihyun stepped out into the hallway first. "See you around, Shownu." You said, not daring to look at his face.

"Y/N," He said, reaching out to hold the doors open. You stopped and turned to look at him, halfway out the elevator. "Do you want your shirt back?"

You'd forgotten you'd given him a shirt. "Oh, no that's fine. Keep it." You replied with a dismissive wave of your hand.

"Ok." He said simply. You held his gaze, trying to read his expression but he was a master at keeping up a guard, emotions locked behind it. "I got you something, as a thank you. I'll swing by tomorrow to give it to you?"

"You didn't have to," You said quietly. He shrugged.

"See you later Y/N." He said, letting the doors finally close. You turned to face Kihyun who looked utterly confused.

"What was _that_ about?" He asked, raising an eyebrow at you. "Who was that?"

"It's a long story," You muttered. "I'll tell you inside."

You tugged him along the hallway and to your apartment, ignoring Kihyun's questions on the way. You let both of you into the apartment, immediately making way for the kitchen, desperate for a drink. You grabbed two beers from the fridge and opened them, handing one to Kihyun and then taking a long drink from yours.

"So?" Kihyun pried. "Explain."

You bit your lip, unsure of exactly _how_ much information to reveal to your friend. There was the heavy implication that Shownu did illegal things and you didn't want to create any trouble for you or him. "He was jumped about a month ago." You began. "I ended up bumping into him and just helped him get home safely." Technically not a lie. You just left out some of the details.

"Ok..." Kihyun said slowly. "So why does he have your shirt? You sleeping with him too?" He asked bluntly.

_Shit. _You'd forgotten about the stupid shirt, again. "He had some blood on his so I loaned him one." You shrugged. "And _no_, Kihyun I'm not sleeping with him. I barely know the guy. That's basically the most we've ever spoke."

The younger man's brows furrowed a little and you knew he was doubtful of you. "Why didn't you take him to a hospital?"

"He didn't want me to, I tried but he refused point blank." You explained.

"Why?" He inquired.

"I don't know! I told you I barely know the guy." You took another long swig of your beer, hoping Kihyun would leave the subject alone.

"Something doesn't feel right," Kihyun muttered. "He makes me feel uneasy, noona. Gives off a weird vibe." He crossed his arms and leaned against the countertop.

"I think that's just how he is," You suggested, recalling how every time you spoke to Shownu he was stoic and direct. "He's always been polite to me."

"I don't trust him." Kihyun grumbled.

"You don't have to, Ki." You walked over to your friend and wrapped your arms around his neck, giving him a quick peck on the cheek. "Just trust me."

Kihyun sighed. "I do."

"Thanks for looking out for this old lady," You joked nudging him with your fist, giving him a smile.

"You're only a year older, _noona_," He mocked. "Not geriatric. Yet."

"Watch it," You warned, pointing a finger at him. "I'm your boss remember?"

He grabbed your finger and pushed it down, with a laugh. "You gonna fire me?"

"Nah, I like you too much," You joked.

"I really like spending time with you Y/N," Kihyun said, the seriousness in his voice taken you aback a little. You looked at him curiously. "Seriously, you're my favourite thing about work." He admitted, blushing a little.

"Kihyun," You smiled with a little laugh. "Are you trying to flirt with your noona?"

"No," He said defensively. Although you suspected it was a lie. "I'm just being honest. Not like your weirdo neighbour."

"You know I always appreciate that." You said. "Shall we try that wine now?"

He nodded and you went to fetch the bottle. Kihyun was always so affectionate with you so why did this time feel a bit different? You tried not to think about that too deeply as you grabbed the wine. He was younger than you, so you never really looked at him in that light. You set it down on the table, opening the cupboard to grab two glasses. "Sauvigon Blanc, South Africa." Kihyun murmured reading the label.

"Apparently it's very nice," You informed him. "I know you don't really drink wine but tell me what you think." You opened the bottle and poured a little in his glass. He took a sip.

"It's nice," He said after a few moments. "I like it."

You poured some in your own glass and took a sip too. "Mmm," You hummed. "Me too."

"What do you think creepy neighbour got for you?" Kihyun asked, his mind still on the topic.

"Ki," You whined. "I don't know, he's so hard to read, it could be a puppy for all I know." You were both silent for a few moments, sipping at the wine.

"You should order it," He said nodding his head towards the wine bottle. "For the bar."

"I will." You hummed in agreement, making a mental note to do it first thing tomorrow. _Tomorrow_. Your stomach twisted at the anticipation of seeing Shownu and whatever gift he had got for you. You downed the rest of your drink in one, trying to settle your nerves.

* * *

The next day Shownu came by as promised. You'd be lying if you didn't admit that you had put in extra effort to your appearance, especially since it was a day off for you. Hair freshly washed and blow dried with a little mascara was very unusual for a day without plans. You couldn't help but want to impress him. He'd knocked on your door, with a gift bag in hand and you eyed it curiously, letting him into your apartment.

"For you," He said simply and placed it on the kitchen table. The same table his bloody rag of a shirt had sat. "I didn't thank you properly last time." He trailed off, frowning slightly.

"I told you, you really didn't have to." You said, peering into the bag. Shownu gave a small shrug. You gasped out loud seeing what was inside. "Shownu," You stuttered. "Really, this is too much..." He said nothing keeping a steady gaze on you, watching your reaction.

Inside the bag was a bottle of liquor. Not just any bottle, a $7800 bottle of one of the world's most expensive brands of tequila. A drink you only ever dreamed of trying. "You work in a bar, I figured you'd appreciate it." He said casually.

"I can't accept this," You spluttered, overwhelmed. "I really appreciate the sentiment, but this is _so much_. Keep it for yourself, enjoy it." You tried to give him back the gift back but he stopped you.

"Y/N, it's a gift." He said lowly. "It's yours now."

You were speechless, once again taken aback by this mysterious man's behaviour. You looked up into his dark eyes, mouth hanging slightly open. "Thank you," You managed to get out. His expression wasn't cold, but it wasn't warm either, and god you wished in that moment he would reveal more of himself to you. "Do you want to try it with me?" You suggested, as a way of thanking him.

"Maybe another time." He said quietly and you couldn't help but feel disappointed. "I've got a meeting to get to I'm afraid." He smiled a little but it didn't reach his eyes. He excused himself to leave and you showed him out, wondering if he meant what he said and there really would be another time.


	2. Sorry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Y/N's relationship with Shownu reaches a new level. 
> 
> warnings: SEX/ more violence/angst/Kihyun's mad lol/this chapter is long

"I cannot fucking believe it," Kihyun breathed, almost in awe. His hands cradled the expensive liquor bottle as he read the label, confirming it was the real thing. "You sure you're not sleeping with him?" He teased, earning an eye roll from you. It was the next day and you had brought the alcohol into work to show Kihyun, knowing he would appreciate it as well.

"I tried to give it back," You laughed, shaking your head. "He wouldn't take it. I even offered to share it with him, but that was also a big fat no."

"He must be rich," Kihyun guessed. "You don't just buy a gift like this if you aren't."

"Hm, maybe." You agreed. "I have no idea what he does for work, so he might be."

"Then why does he live in your building? If you have this much money surely you'd live in absolute luxury?" He pondered aloud, setting the bottle back down on the desk. The bar was closed and the two of you were finishing the end of month paperwork in the back office.

"Hey!" You complained. "There's nothing wrong with my place."

"I _know_," He rolled his eyes. "I just meant, he's clearly got money, why is he not using it?"

"I don't know," You sighed, turning your attention back to your paperwork. "He's very...private." You were going to say secretive but that wasn't technically true, as far as you know Shownu hadn't lied to you. He was just very selective with what information you knew, keeping his cards close to his chest.

"And weird." Kihyun added pointing a finger at you. Ignoring his comment you finished up your work and put the papers away, finishing up for the night. Kihyun was hanging around waiting for you since he'd promised to drive you home tonight. Your car was in for repair so you appreciated it.

"I'm all done, shall we go?" You asked. He nodded and followed you as you locked up the office and turned of all the lights. You made sure everything was off in the bar and followed Kihyun to his car, slipping into the passenger seat. He started the engine and began the drive to your place. It was comfortably silent in the car, with nothing but the radio playing softly in the background.

"Noona?" Kihyun asked breaking the silence. You turned to look at your friend. "Can we hang out this weekend?"

"Of course, Ki." You replied. "Just text me when and where."Kihyun smiled and focused back on his driving. It wasn't long before you were in the parking lot of your building. He left the engine running and you unclicked your seatbelt. "Thanks for the lift, kid."

"I'm not a kid!" He groaned. "I'm a man. A big, manly man." He said, puffing his chest out, making you laugh as you got out the car.

"Goodnight, manly man." You said with a wave, shutting the car door.

You did the usual routine of checking for mail and made your way to the elevator but something caught your eye. There were emergency stairs to the right of the door and your eyes landed on Shownu, his hand wrapped around the throat of a man that was almost as big as he was. You froze, watching him slam the mans head harshly into the wall. "Don't fucking come here again," Shownu growled, his voice low and terrifying. The man's nose was bleeding and his eye was swollen, and you wondered if it was by Shownu's hands. "Or I'll fucking kill you myself." His voice was deadly, the threat very much real. His knuckles were turning white around the man's throat.

As if sensing you standing there, the trapped man's eyes flickered towards you. That caught Shownu's attention and he turned to see what he was looking at. "Y/N, leave." He commanded, his grip loosening on his victim. You wanted to but your legs weren't working, frozen in shock. "GO!" Shownu boomed and that seemed to bring you back to the real world and you hurried away, not even attempting to use the elevator.

Your hands were shaking when you made it to your apartment, adrenalin pulsing throughout your body. You unlocked the door after 3 attempts and let yourself in. _What was that?_ You had known from that night Shownu might have been a violent person but actually witnessing it was another story. He was downright frightening, you thought as the sound of his voice threatening to kill that man replayed in your brain.

You let out a deep breath, trying to calm yourself down. You walked to your bedroom and started to get ready for bed, mind still buzzing. You pulled on a huge t-shirt as your pyjamas, it was hot and you just wanted to be comfortable. The jeans and socks you were wearing came off but you left your underwear on. You walked back into the kitchen and grabbed a drink, choosing to settle down on the sofa in front of the TV. You were too fired up to sleep just yet.

After what felt like hours you were dozing off on the sofa when you heard a knock at your door, jolting you wide awake. The clock on the tv read 2am, meaning only an hour had passed since you arrived home. You cautiously walked to your door, standing on tip toes to look through the peephole. To your surprise, Shownu was standing on the other side. Confused, you cracked open the door just enough so you could hide your bare legs.

"Hi," He said softly. "I'm sorry about before..." He trailed off, searching for the right words.

You quickly shook your head, you didn't really want to talk about it. "No, no, no, don't worry!" You forced out. "Thanks for apologising, have a good night." You started to shut the door but Shownu pressed his large palm against the wood stopping it from closing.

"I can explain." His voice was quiet.

"You don't need to, really." You said quickly.

"I want to." He sounded so sincere, you almost felt a bit guilty about brushing him off like this. The truth was you'd seen a side to him that shocked you, and he felt even more like a stranger now. "Please? Can I come in?"

You hesitated for a moment. Did you really want this violent man in your apartment? You peered up at him and his eyes were sad. He looked genuinely sorry, and you realised he'd let his guard down a little. "Ok," You said eventually and opened the door wider allowing him to walk through. His eyes immediately went down to your bare legs and you flushed with embarrassment, completely forgetting you didn't have pants on.

"Did I wake you?" He said, still looking at your body. You felt hot under his gaze and tugged on your shirt subconsciously as if that would help. "Sorry." He added.

"Let's sit in here." You mumbled and walked through to the living room. You sat on the sofa first and grabbed a cushion, using it hide your legs. He sat down opposite you and let out a small sigh, rubbing a hand over his face. He looked tired.

"I really am sorry you had to see that," He began. "And I'm sorry I spoke to you like that."

"You scared me." You admitted in a small voice. He looked down at his lap as if he was ashamed.

"I had to get you out of there," He said quietly. "That man that I was with....that man is not a good man. Trust me."

"And you're a good man?" You said without thinking. "I take it that black eye and broken nose were your doing?"

Shownu lifted his head up and locked eyes with you. "I try to be. And yes, they were."

"Why?"

"He was going to kill me." Shownu said bluntly. "That's why he was here, actually."

This whole time you had suspected Shownu was involved in _something_. You didn't know what but you weren't stupid. Hearing him actually say it out loud though felt like some strange dream. "Did you kill him?" You asked before you could stop yourself.

"No." Was all Shownu said. You hugged the cushion tightly to your body, which he noticed. "You're scared of me." He pointed out. You shook your head no but it was a lie. "Don't be," He said softly, almost pleading. A hand reached out and gently touched your arm. "There are lots of people to be scared of, don't let me be one of them Y/N."

"How can I not be after that?" You mumbled.

"I understand. Really, I do. I just wanted you to know that I'm not some petty thug, and there was a reason why that happened tonight." He withdrew his hand from you and leaned back a little on the sofa.

"Why do you care what I think?" You asked, raising an eyebrow at him.

"I just do, Y/N." You froze, unsure of exactly what that meant.

"You confuse me." He frowned at your words. "I can't read you at all. Sometimes you act like a stranger, then you buy me this expensive gift, then it's back to being cold towards me. And I know so little about you, I can't even tell if this is because you hate me or if it's just how you are."

Shownu closed his eyes for a moment. "I definitely don't hate you." He said, opening them.

"So this is just how you are? Moody?" You scoffed.

"That's what you think?" He asked. "Y/N, believe it or not I actually like you. Quite a bit actually." His eyes were searching yours, waiting for a reaction. You were at a loss for words. "But you saw what happened here tonight, and that night a few weeks ago. My life is not exactly safe and stable. Anyone I get involved with gets put in danger too. I didn't want to do that to you." He said, somewhat sadly. "So I kept my distance."

"I feel like I'm involved already." You said quietly and looked down at your lap. Suddenly Shownu reached over, using a finger to gently lift your head back up. His expression was one of sadness.

"I'm sorry." He said sincerely. You studied his face. He was so handsome, especially up close. He had such soft features you'd never expect him to be as violent as he was. He even looked like he could be a model. "Y/N," He said, voice barely above a whisper. His hand snaked round to the back of your neck, fingers tangling in you hair as he gripped you. He licked his lips and you felt your heart start to race as he leaned in closer. "Can I kiss you?" His breath was hot against your lips and you nodded. His lips connected to yours, so softly and delicately, not at all like you expected the kiss to be. You tried to pull away but he gripped you a little tighter, running his tongue along your bottom lip and slipping it into your mouth. You moaned at the feeling of his tongue on yours and this only encourage him, nipping your bottom lip with his teeth. Eventually you pulled apart, staring at each other.

"Wow." Was all you managed to get out and Shownu cracked a rare genuine smile at you. All you could think about was kissing him again.

"I should go," He said, standing up. You nodded and followed suit, walking him to your front door. At the door he kissed you on the forehead softly and stepped out into the hallway. "Can I see you soon? This weekend?" He suggested.

"Ok," You breathed.

"Goodnight." He said walking away and you shut the door behind him, leaning against it, excitement pooling in the pit of your stomach. What a strange night.

* * *

It wasn't long before Shownu was back at your apartment like you'd agreed. This time he'd barely said anything to you, attacking your lips with his as soon as the door was shut. Which is how you ended up fucking in the hallway before he carried you to your bed, ready for a second round. "You really want to go again?" You asked him breathlessly as he laid you on top of the duvet, crawling over you.

"Mmhm," He murmured sexily, kissing your neck. You felt like your skin was on fire from his touch. "I never got the chance to eat you out." He added and you groaned in pleasure at the idea of his head between your legs. He removed the remaining clothing you had, leaving you fully naked before him. You had both been so desperate before that he had fucked you while you had your shirt and bra on. Shownu was now kissing sloppily down your torso, settling himself between your legs. "I'm gonna make you feel so good." He looked up at you, smiling as you bit your lip in anticipation.

"Shownu!" You gasped when he kissed the inside of your thigh. Even though he'd made you cum once already you were still so turned on by him. You felt him smile into your skin at the desperation in your voice. He kissed his way to your pussy deliberately avoiding touching you were you wanted it most. "Shownu," You whined. "Don't tease me." Your were writhing on the bed now, desperate once more for him.

He chuckled a little but complied. You moaned loudly when you felt his tongue curl against your clit. He was so gentle, just like when he kissed you. "You taste so good." He said, pushing a finger into you. You were so wet you could feel it and he wasted no time in adding a second one. He continued to lick you while pumping his fingers in and out of your core. "Oh my _god_," You whined, hands gripping the sheet tightly. You felt like you were going to pass out from the pleasure. "Don't stop, don't stop, don't stop." You breathed.

He didn't relent and you could feel your orgasm rapidly approaching. You arched your back feeling the pressure build up and he put a hand on your hip to hold you in place. "Are you gonna cum for me?" He asks, fingers still moving rapidly, his dark eyes filled with lust. You nodded furiously, unable to find your words. "Then cum." He curled his fingers, making you cry out. His tongue went back to your clit and that's all it took for you to find your release, clamping down hard against his fingers.

"That was even better than the first one." You breathed, with a small laugh. Shownu smiled, proud. He licked his fingers clean and climbed back up next to you.

"Seriously, you taste amazing." He smirked at you, enjoying the slight flush in your cheeks at the compliment. "I'm definitely going down on you again before I leave."

"Fine with me." You said, rolling on top of him so that you were straddling his waist. He still had his shirt on and you tugged at it. He took the hint and lifted his arms, letting you pull it over his head. You traced the angry red scar on his chest with your finger tips. It had healed well since that night you helped him. He gripped your hips, grinding you into his erection, ripping you from your thoughts and you let out a loud moan.

"Can I fuck you again Y/N?" He said, voice thick with desire. He thrusted his hips up a little so that the head of his dick moved over your entrance, sliding up to your clit. He was rock hard again and you groaned at the sensation.

"Please," You rasped, breathing heavily. "Please fuck me Shownu."

You leaned down and kissed him, tongues clashing in desperation. "Ride me." He commands and you position yourself over his length. Slowly you sank down on him, taking him a bit at a time. His dick was huge, the biggest you'd ever experienced and you didn't want to hurt yourself. "God, you take me so well." He groaned when he was finally all the way inside you, pressing his head backwards into the mattress.

"Fuck," You moaned. "I feel so fucking full." His hands gripped your hips so tightly you knew there would be bruises. He started to bounce you up and down on his dick, the burn from the sheer size of him turning into pleasure.

"You're so beautiful Y/N." He said, following it with a deep throaty moan. The compliment made your heart swell, it was the first time he ever said anything like that to you. "Shit, you feel so good." He sighed. He shifted so he was sitting up, the new angle allowing him to get much deeper inside of you. Hands wrapped around your body, bringing you close, naked chests touching. He slid one down to your ass cheek, grabbing it tightly in pleasure as you rocked your hips into his.

You buried your head in his neck, already falling apart at the warm euphoria taking over your body. You wondered if you would cum again, so soon after the last time. The sweat is starting to pour off of him and you clung to him harder, desperate to feel his skin against yours. "I'm close already." He breathed into your ear. He was grunting with every snap of your hips and you could feel his dick pulse inside of you.

Without warning he flipped you onto your back, arms cradling underneath your shoulders. This way he was in control and he began to pound into you relentlessly, chasing his own orgasm. "Fuck," You cried at the new pace. "Harder Shownu, _harder-!_"

He growled at your words and increased his movements. The headboard was rattling so hard against the wall you were sure the neighbours could hear it.

"Fuck, Y/N -!" He gasped, his breathing short. "I'm gonna fucking cum." His thrusts are messy and you could tell he was barely holding on.

"Cum for me," You whispered. "Cum for me Shownu, cum in me, fill me up."

That did it, sending him over the edge. With one loud groan he emptied his load in you, thrusting until you were full. Eventually they slowed to a stop and you both stayed there for a moment, regaining your breath. He lifted his head up from the crook of your neck and pecked you on the lips. His dark hair was wet with sweat and clung to his forehead, cheeks red from exertion. Even like this you couldn't believe how gorgeous he looked. "Sorry you didn't get to cum again," He said breaking the silence, his breathing more regular now. "I couldn't last any longer. You felt too damn good." He smiled that gorgeous smile of his again and your heart fluttered.

"Don't be silly, twice in one night is more than fine." You laughed.

He pulled out of you and the two of you began to clean yourselves up. You hadn't expected to sleep with him so soon but you couldn't resist his advances the second you felt his mouth on yours. Once you were both dressed again you retreated to the living room. "Shall we finally try that tequila?" He suggested.

"Sure, I'll get it." You walked to the cabinet in the kitchen where it sat unopened. You grabbed it, along with two glasses and headed back to Shownu. "I still can't believe you bought this." You muttered pouring a little each glass.

"I wanted to do something nice for you." He shrugged.

"Flowers are fine." You joked, earning a laugh from him. You clinked glasses and sipped the clear liquid. "Oh my god," You exclaim looking at the glass incredulously. "This is amazing."

"Hmm," He hummed in agreement. "I'm glad you like it."

You poured each of you another glass, already feeling the effects of the alcohol go to your head. "What are you doing for the rest of the day?" You asked, finishing your second drink.

"Nothing," He replied. "I was hoping I could spend it with you..."

You smiled up at him, his words making your belly do flops with excitement. You felt like a teenager with a crush, giddy and horny. "Sounds good to me."

* * *

A loud banging on your door brought you out of the deep sleep you had fallen into. Groggily you sat up, taking a second to orientate yourself. It was morning. You must have slept through the night. Next to you Shownu had sat bolt upright, instantly wide awake. "Someone's at your front door." He stated, his voice husky from sleeping. You got out of bed, still naked and half asleep and pulled on Shownu's shirt. As you got closer to the front door the unmistakable sound of your name could be heard.

"Y/N!" It was Kihyun. He knocked again, louder. You rushed over to the front door in a panic, fearing the worst. Why was he here? You swung the door open before he had a chance to make anymore noise.

"Kihyun?!" You exclaimed. "What's going on?"

"Oh my god, I thought something had happened to you." He said, sighing with relief. He rushed into your apartment and pulled you into his arms. You were paralysed with confusion, and very aware of the lack of underwear on your body. "Don't ever do this to me again!"

"Kihyun -" You started, pushing yourself out of his arms. "What on earth are you talking about?"

He looked just as confused as you. "Noona, we were supposed to meet yesterday." He stated, matter of factly. "I got worried when you didn't show. I tried calling and texting but I couldn't get through. When even more time went by I couldn't stand it, so I thought I'd make sure you were ok."

You felt like you had a rock in your stomach. You had _completely_ forgotten about making plans with Kihyun. Wrapped up in the excitement of being with Shownu you hadn't even looked at your phone in more than 24 hours, and you guess it had probably died in that time. The realisation made your heart pang with guilt. "Oh my god Ki, I'm so so so sorry! I forgot!"

"You forgot?" He said in a small voice and the feeling in your chest worsened.

"No, well - yes, but it's not like that." You explained quickly, fumbling over your words. "I ended up stuck doing something else, and was too busy to look at my phone. I'm so sorry." You felt ashamed at letting down your good friend.

"What were you doing?" He asked, confusion flickering on his young face.

You bit your lip. You didn't want to lie to Kihyun but you knew if he told the truth he'd be angry. "My friend came over, and then we got a bit drunk and fell asleep. That's why I didn't call."

"You worried me, you know." He sighed, taking your hand in his. You were forgiven, for now. You gave his hand a squeeze.

"I'm sorry, I'll make it up to you." You promised. "I'll buy you dinner after work next week." 

"If you don't I'll quit." He threatened but you smiled, knowing he wasn't serious.

"What time is it?" You asked, suddenly realising you hadn't looked at a clock yet.

"It's about 9am." Kihyun answered. "Do you want a lift to work today?" He asked. You hadn't even thought about the fact you still didn't have a car, mind so preoccupied with Shownu. "I can hang out here until then?" He suggested.

You remembered Shownu in the other room. "No!" You shouted, startling Kihyun. He looked perplexed at your outburst. "My friend is still here..." You trailed off, knowing he would click and realise exactly what that meant.

"Oh..." His eyes raked over your outfit and you could practically see the gears turning in his head. "Oh. That kind of friend." He muttered, his cheeks burning with the sudden realisation. He let go of your hand roughly pushing it away. "Let me guess, it's your fucking weirdo neighbour isn't it?" He mocked, his voice louder now, anger rising within him.

"Ki - " You started to say but he cut you off.

"I knew it! You lied to me!! You said you weren't sleeping with him!" He shouted. You prayed that Shownu couldn't hear any of this but your apartment was small and he wasn't deaf.

"Calm down," You pleaded. "I didn't lie to you, it was the truth at the time."

"But not anymore." He grumbled. "I'm a fucking idiot. I was worried about you, thinking something _awful_ had happened, because Y/N would _never_ stand me up, and the whole time it's because you were too busy spreading your legs for the creep that's trying to buy your affection." He spat, his words tearing through you. The whole time you'd know him Kihyun had never spoke to you so harshly. He was your good natured younger friend. You were his noona.

"Kihyun, don't be like this. I really am sorry."

"He can fucking take you to work." He said angrily. "I'm leaving." You called at him to stop but he ignored you, roughly swinging the door open and slamming it on his way out. You just stood there for a moment trying to process what had just happened. This was the first time you'd ever even had a fight with Kihyun.

"You okay?" Shownu spoke, his voice bringing you back to reality. He was standing in the hallway, having slipped his boxers back on but he was still shirtless. You nodded weakly. "I heard most of that, sorry." He admitted.

"It's okay," You sighed. "Not your fault."

He closed the distance between you and wrapped his long arms around you, pulling you into his chest. "I am a bad, bad friend." You mumbled, pressing your face into his body.

"People make mistakes, it doesn't make you bad." He said quietly, rubbing your back. "Is this the friend I saw you with before? In the lobby?"

You recalled the way he had looked at Kihyun that day and how much it looked like he was your boyfriend. "Yes," You answered. "He's a good guy, I've never seen him act like this before."

"He likes you, Y/N." He says casually. "That's why he's acting out."

"No, no it's not like that. We're just really close and I let him down."

Shownu cocked a disbelieving eyebrow at you. "If you say so." A few moments of silence passed before he spoke again. "Anyway, can this _creep_ take you to work?" He smirked and you laughed, giving him a nod. You hoped Kihyun would have calmed down by then and you could talk, otherwise it would be a long shift.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok, so I'm really bad at writing sex scenes and the only reason I did here was because I want to get better at it! so sorry if you hated it haha thanks for reading anyway!


	3. Confessions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kihyun confesses his true feelings as your relationship with Shownu intesfies. 
> 
> warnings: hurt/angst/violence/guns/more shameless sex

Work turned out worse than you expected it to be. Not only was Kihyun actively ignoring you, the bar was also very busy. It was a Saturday night which was peak trading hours for you, meaning even if you wanted to talk to him you weren't able to. It did however make your shift fly by and before long you were sending staff home, ready to shut the bar down for the night.

You didn't expect Kihyun to give you a lift, seeing as he was pissed at you so you took your phone out ready to phone a taxi. "Bye, Y/N!" One of your bar staff, Holly waved at you as she walked by on her way out.

"Wait, Holly - " You shouted and she stopped. "Is Kihyun here?"

"In the back." She replied. You didn't say anything, hoping this would be your chance to corner him. "Is that everything?" Holly added.

You gave her an appreciative smile. "Yeah, thanks. And thanks for tonight. Have a good night!" She waved bye and left out the back door that staff used. Standing up, you made your way to the back room where the staff kept their belongings intending to find Kihyun. As Holly had said he was in there shrugging into his jacket. "Kihyun." You said softly and he turned at the sound of your voice. His blank, almost cold, expression made your heart sink.

"Do you need a lift home?" He asked, his voice sullen. You hadn't expected him to say that.

"Uh, no. I'm going to phone a taxi. I just wanted to talk to you." You said sheepishly.

"It's a Saturday night you'll wait ages for one." He muttered, zipping up his jacket. "I'll take you."

"You don't have to do that, Ki." You said quietly.

"I'm mad at you but I'm not heartless. I still want you to get home safely."

"Can we talk first?" You asked hopefully.

"I really don't feel like it, Y/N." He sighed. You didn't want to push him so you stayed silent. The two of you gathered the rest of things and walked outside to his car. He unlocked the vehicle and you climbed into the passenger seat, feeling a little awkward. You didn't want the drive back to be in stony silence. You hated that you'd hurt his feelings.

You drove for a few minutes in silence, the engine humming in the background. It was deafening to you. Unable to stand it any longer you spoke. "When do you think you'll stop hating me?" You asked. He let out a heavy sigh.

"I don't hate you, noona." He looked in the mirror as he merged lanes. "That's the problem." He muttered under his breath but you caught it.

"I still want to make it up to you." You said, deliberately not addressing his comment. "I meant that, you know."

He just gave you a somewhat forced, but slightly sad smile. The drive was silent until you reached your home. He parked on the street and you watched curiously as he cut the engine and the car fell silent. His remained in his seat looking straight ahead, one hand gripping the steering wheel. "Y/N, are you dating that man?" He asked suddenly.

"No," You answered. Where you dating Shownu? You were too lost in the thrill of it all to even think about that. Technically you had had one date but that hardly qualifies. He hadn't even asked for a second one. "I think it was just that one time." You admitted, suddenly feeling foolish.

"You deserve better than that." He mumbled.

"You're so sweet Ki." You said softly, touching his cheek affectionately.

"I mean it." He said. You found his sincerity endearing. This was the sweet kid you knew. "I was jealous this morning." He confessed. "Do you know why?" He asked and you shook your head. "I wanted to be the one you spent the night with." He let out a deep breath as if he was releasing the weight of his secret 

"What are you trying to say?" You asked, feeling your heartbeat start to speed up.

"I think you know what I'm trying to say." He turned to look at you for the first time since you began this conversation, his face illuminate by the orange of the streetlight. His expression was serious. "I like you, Y/N. More than just friends, more than just co-workers."

"Kihyun." You sighed. Your voice felt far away.

"I'm sorry I got angry and spoke to you like that this morning," He admitted, his face softening. "But seeing you like that, no underwear, clearly fucked out...it did something to me." You blushed at his words, heat creeping up your face. He had noticed. He kept talking, somehow the more he confessed the easier it was to reveal his true feelings to you. "Noona, it should have been me. I want to spend all day with you, talking, laughing...I want to be the one to fuck you, make you cum. Make you feel good. Me."

"Kihyun!" Yours went wide at the dirty words that spilled from his mouth.

"I told you I'm not a kid." He smirked a little at your reaction. It was exactly what he wanted.

"I honestly don't know what to say," You breathed, anxiously fiddling with the sleeve of your jacket. Kihyun stayed silent watching you. "I'm your boss, I'm older than you...I think crossing that line would be a bad idea."

"What if I quit?" He asked. He'd joked about this so many times but you knew there was no humour in it this time.

"Don't be ridiculous." You scoffed. "Don't you dare be that stupid!"

"I just want to show you how serious I am." He shrugged. "Will you let me take you out then? Just once. Give me a chance before you reject me."

"I really don't think that's a good idea." You said quietly. It didn't feel good to turn him down. He was still your friend after all.

"That's it? No - just like that?" He asked. You noticed his knuckles turning white from his death grip on the steering wheel.

"I'm sorry." You couldn't look at him anymore, it was breaking your heart. He just nodded, jaw clenched. The air felt heavy now. "Thank you for taking me home." He didn't say anything, didn't even look at you, just waited patiently for you to get out his car. With a heavy heart you watched him drive off and hoped that this wasn't the end of your friendship.

* * *

Days turned into weeks and things with Kihyun were just not the same. You still saw him at work, that is on the days he hadn't swapped shifts to avoid you, but he kept any and all talking he needed to do to you at the bare minimum. He barely even looked at you anymore. As sad as it made you at least things with Shownu seemed to be progressing. He'd actually taken you out on real dates. It was a nice surprise to you at how well you got on with him.

"Are you working tomorrow?" Shownu asked as he held the door open for you. You were leaving a restaurant after another one of your proper dates.

"Nope, I'm off." You replied. You'd gone to a place close to the apartment building you shared, opting to walk there. He grabbed your hand, interlacing his fingers with yours. Holding hands was something he started doing recently and it made your heart swell every time he did it.

"Stay at mine tonight?" He asked. Your stomach flipped with excitement. It was the first time he'd invited you over to his.

"Okay." You said in a small voice. It didn't take long for the two of you to reach the apartment. Shownu led the way inside and pressed the call button for the lift. It arrive and he pushed you inside. "Can we stop by my place first, I need to get clothes for tomorrow."

"Okay." The doors shut and instantly his mouth was on yours. You kissed him back hungrily as he pushed you up against the cool metal wall of the elevator. His tongue dipping into your mouth, greedily devouring yours.

"I couldn't wait any longer." He whispered inbetween kisses. He fisted a hand into your hair and pulled, yanking your head back, exposing your neck to him. His head dipped down to the exposed flesh and he began to place wet kisses, stopping to suck and bite making you moan out loud. He guided your hand down to his clothed erection and you gasped feeling he was rock hard already. He wasn't joking about wanting you already. You rubbed him teasingly and he groaned into your skin.

The elevator stopped at your floor and he reluctantly let go of you. Taking your hand again he led you down the hallway. You almost crashed into him when he stopped suddenly. "Shownu, what's wrong?" You asked, but your question was answered when your eyes fell on your door. Your front door was ajar and you suddenly felt ice cold with fear. You were always so careful when it came to locking it.

"Wait here." He commanded, letting go of your hand. Your eyes widened when you saw him reach inside his jacket pocket and pulled out a gun. You didn't know he carried one. "Don't go anywhere." He said, giving you one last look before heading into your apartment. He flicked on the light and disappeared inside.

Your heart was in your throat, pulse rapid with adrenalin. It was quiet and your mind was racing. You stared at the open door almost expecting to hear gunshots any second. After what felt like years, Shownu appeared in the door way, his eyes were cold, expression one of steel. "It's empty." He informed you. "Are you sure you locked it?"

"100%." You said quietly. He sighed at the frightened look on your face.

"Grab some clothes, enough for a few days." He said, pulling you into a hug. "You're staying with me until we get the lock changed ok?"

You just nodded and followed him into your apartment. You did as he said and grabbed enough clothing to keep you going for a few days, shoving the items into a duffle bag. Shownu waited in the hallway for you, almost as if he was keeping watch. Once you were done the two of you headed to his place.

He let you in to his apartment, setting his keys down on a small table by the door. "I feel like this is my fault." He ran a frustrated hand through his hair. "Now that you're involved with me, you're a target too." He muttered.

"What do you mean?" You inquired, tilting your head to one side. As long as you'd know him he'd made similar sort of references but never elaborated.

"You know that there are people who want to hurt me right? Well these people might want to hurt you as a way of hurting me."

"Why do they want to hurt you?" You asked in a small voice.

"Because I have something that they want." He uttered darkly.

"What's that?"

He just shook his head. "The less you know the safer you are."

"You're still such a mystery to me, Shownu." You said, reaching up to cup his cheek. He closed his eyes at your touch and place a hand on yours.

"Y/N," He said quietly, opening his eyes once more. "I want you to know that even though I don't tell you everything, I've never and will never lie to you." You believed him. "I promise I'll keep you safe."

He pulled you into his arms and kissed you softly. "Let me keep you safe." He murmured against your lips, his kisses becoming rough and desperate now. "I promise." He repeated. You fell into him, fingers gripping at his chest. His hands dropped to your waist and pulled you close to him, making you whimper against his lips. Him revealing a more vulnerable side to you only made you want him more.

The kiss was quick to grow heated when suddenly Shownu picked you up, wrapping your legs around his waist. He carried you to his bedroom, mouth never leaving yours. He began undressing you, peeling off your clothing, throwing it to the floor. He looked at you with such desire in his eyes it made you shiver. Soon you were completely naked beneath him. He licked his lips at the sight. "You're so pretty, Y/N." He whispered and began kneading your breasts with his palms, occasionally catching a nipple between his fingers. You melted at his touch.

"Please take this off," You whined, tugging at his shirt. "I wanna feel you." He did as you asked, yanking the white cotton over his head. "And these." You said, wiggling his belt buckle.

He stood up, doing as you asked, getting completely naked as well. You reached for his dick and gave it a few strokes, causing him to groan, eyes fluttering closed. When you replaced your hands with your mouth, deep throating him straight away he swore out loud. You bobbed up and down his length, eyes starting to water. He gathered your hair in his hands, encouraging you. "Fuck, how did I get so lucky, huh?" He breathed looking down at you.

Without warning he pulled you off him. You looked up at him in surprise. "I wanna be inside you. If you kept that up I was gonna cum." He smiled. "Get on all fours for me, pretty girl." He instructed. Your stomach twisted with desire as you complied. Shownu kneeled on the bed behind you, running a finger down your slit. "Sucking my dick made you this wet?" He mused and you cried out when he pushed two fingers into you.

"Fuck Shownu - !" You gasped as he started to move them in and out of you. Your head fell and you gripped the sheets tightly.

"Fuck yourself against my fingers," He said. "Show me how much you want it." You moaned when he stopped moving and started to grind against his hand. You were losing yourself now, free hand flying down to your clit, lost in pleasure. "Fucking god." Shownu groaned watching you go. He couldn't handle it anymore and ripped his hand from you, quickly manoeuvring so his dick was pressing into your core. One swift move and he was buried inside you, hands gripping your ass cheeks tightly, spreading them so he can get deeper. You couldn't control the moans spilling from your lips. "Keep touching yourself." He growled as he began to thrust in and out of you.

"You feel amazing," You whined, rubbing faster. You weren't lying, he felt perfect, the way his body fit yours. You were tightening around him, orgasm rapidly approaching. "I'm gonna cum!" You squeezed your eyes shut, letting the waves over pleasure wash over you. He fucked you through it, slapping your ass, the sting intensifying your high.

He laid you down flat on the bed so that his chest was touching your back, hands underneath you holding him close. "Spread your legs for me." He whispered, hot breath in your ear and you did, giving him easier access. He began to fuck you hard, this new position giving him even more control. "Ugh, Y/N." He grunted. The sound of his skin slapping on yours filled the room as he drove into you relentlessly. You had fucked enough to know he was close.

All of a sudden he pulled out of you and flipped you over. "I wanna see you when I cum." He said huskily, voice thick with lust. He pushed himself into you again, staring deep into your eyes.

"Cum for me, Shownu." You whispered. "Show me how much you like fucking me."

He groaned at your words, immediately picking up the pace. His eyes never left yours as he peaked, spilling into you with a moan of your name. He collapsed on the bed next to you, breathing heavily. "You're too good to me, pretty girl." He said, giving you one of his rare smiles. He rolled onto his side and pulled you close. "I meant what I said, I'll keep you safe if you let me." he spoke softly.

You melted into his chest feeling safe and secure in his arms, like this was where you belonged, danger or not.

* * *

Weeks passed without another incident or break in and you were starting to feel a sense of normalcy with Shownu. Nothing was official, he hadn't asked you to be his girlfriend or anything but things were good. You enjoyed each others company. You were back in your apartment, the break in a distant memory. Shownu had ensured your door was fitted with a more secure lock and between that and the amount of time he spent there, you felt safe.

Kihyun had been particularly frosty with you after a tense incident when Shownu arrived to pick you up from work one night. It was clear to him that you and Shownu were together, whatever that meant, and he didn't like it.

You were alone tonight. As you'd come to expect, Kihyun swapped his shift leaving you to lock up alone. You were doing a once over on the bar, making sure everything was off. You were just about to lock the main door when it opened, a stranger boldly striding into the room. "Sorry sir, we're closed." You apologised.

The stranger didn't move. Cold, hard eyes bored into you. He wasn't very tall but he was very muscular. You noticed his broad shoulders and bulging arms almost instantly. "I'm only going to say this once," He spoke slowly but there was an underlying threatening tone to his voice. "Do what I say and I won't hurt you."

You froze, a wave of panic immobilising you. "What do you want?" Your voice escaped, barely above a whisper.

The stranger smirked. "You, princess." Your eyes flitted over to the open door the man had entered from. If you were quick could you make it in time? You'd have to run past him, and he could easily grab you. As if reading your mind he said "Don't even think about it, princess." chuckling darkly. He carefully reached into his jacket and you knew what was about to happen. The silver of a gun flashed before your eyes and he cocked it, pointing it at you, still smirking. "Now are you going to do this the hard way or my way?" He asked.

"I don't know what you want from me." You said, trying to stop your voice from shaking.

"I told you, I want you." He gestured with his gun at you and you flinched. "So be a good girl and come with me, I really don't want to hurt that pretty face of yours."

"Go with you?" You repeated. "Go where?"

"My boss wants to have a, uh, chat with you." He said, smirk returning to his face. You felt cold with fear, his words implying that this person wanted more than just a conversation.

"Me?! Why me?" You asked, voice trembling a little.

"He wants to know all about that boyfriend of yours." He chuckled darkly, setting off an instant panic in you.

"I don't have a boyfriend." That was sort of true.

"Didn't take you for a liar, princess."

"I'm not!" You half yelled.

"Baby, I've seen you with him. Many times." The stranger cooed. "Now come with me, before I get impatient and really take it out on you."

Acting on pure instinct you ducked and ran as fast as you could, reaching the back hallway before he even had a chance to fire. You heard the bang of the gun exploding followed by glass shattering. "What did I say princess!" He called out, footsteps approaching you. You dived into your office and locked the door, crouching in the corner. "It's going to be you that suffers not me!" He yelled.

You saw the door handle rattle, bile rising in your throat. Suddenly there were other voices joining the strangers. Of course he had back up, they must have expected you not to go willingly. You clasped your hand over your mouth and screamed when they fired three shots through the door. They didn't care whether you were dead or alive.

The door was rattling on it's hinges now and you suspected they were kicking it down. You were trapped. There was no window in this room. There was nowhere to go. You hadn't been thinking when you ran into here, blind panic clouding your judgement. It flew open with a crash, one of the hinges flying off. The muscular stranger strode into the room, eyes landing on you instantly. Behind him was two new faces you didn't recognize. He sighed and stepped over to your cowering frame. "Just remember, you made me do this princess."

In a flash he raised his arm and swung, using the but of his gun with blunt force. It whacked into the side of your skull with a loud crack, knocking you out like a light.

* * *

**Kihyun's POV**

The next morning Kihyun arrived for work at around 11am. Y/N was scheduled to work that day but not until later, so he felt confident walking into the bar that day knowing she wouldn't be there. Entering through the staff door he headed straight for his locker. As he walked down the hallway he froze. The door to the manager's office was hanging off it's hinges, half destroyed. He got closer, noticing the bullet holes for the first time. "What the fuck." He muttered to himself, running a hand over the broken door.

Instantly the hairs on the back of his neck stoop up. Something wasn't right. He peered in the office half expecting to find someone in there, but it was empty. He moved further into the silent bar, noting the smashed glasses and another bullet hole. Something definitely wasn't right. He did the only thing he could think of, slipping his phone out of his back pocket and dialling Y/N's number.

The phone didn't ring, going directly to voicemail. He tried two more times but yielded the same result. His stomach dropped with dread. This wasn't like the last time when he couldn't get ahold of Y/N. This time he knew something bad had happened. So he did the only logical thing he could think of and phone the police, silently wishing Y/N was okay, and not lying somewhere with a round of bullets in her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it physically hurt to write Wonho as a bad guy when he is the softest babie ever, lol. thanks again for reading!


	4. Dangerous Men

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You find out what your captor's want and a secret about Shownu is revealed.
> 
> warnings: non-con kissing/wonho is a creep im sorry/blood/violence/mentions of drug dealing/guns

**Y/N POV**

Your eyes fluttered open and immediately the pain in your head screamed at you. It was dark and you were disorientated, mind foggy and body aching. The side of your head felt wet and you reached up to touch it but your hands were tied together. The reality of your situation set in and you remembered with horror what had happened to you.

You had no idea how much time had passed. Looking around you analysed the room you were in. It looked like a basement, with stairs in the far right corner leading up. You were on a bed in the corner wrists and ankles tied together but at least you were alone. Groaning in pain, you tried to sit up, willing your body to listen to you.

An image of the stranger who hit you flashed in your mind and you wondered if he was here as well. Then Kihyun and the bar popped into your mind. Would he notice something had happened? Would he notice you were gone? How could anyone find you if _you_ didn't even know where you were?

Suddenly, the door to the basement opened, startling you. Light flooded into the dark room and your eyes took a second to adjust. The silhouette of a man stood in the doorway. "Ah, princess, you're awake." A voice said and you instantly recognised it as the man who had captured you. He strut down the stairs and to your dismay you saw he was smiling. Out of instinct you cowered, bringing your tied hands up to your chest. "Don't be scared, sleeping beauty." He laughed.

You could do nothing but watch as he moved towards you. He roughly grabbed you by the wrists, bringing you to your feet. To your surprise he lifted you with ease and threw you over his shoulder, as if you weighed nothing. His strength was intimidating. "Where are you taking me?" You cried before you could stop yourself.

"You're going to meet someone important." He stated, making his way up the stairs. You struggled against him but he only gripped you tighter. "You're a feisty baby aren't you?" He laughed again and you felt terror pool in your stomach. He seemed to be enjoying this.

From the awkward angle you couldn't see where he was taking you, just the hardwood of the floor. After a few moments you could hear voices and you knew you were close to whatever destination he had planned. He swung open a door and before you could blink you were thrown on top of a sofa. You yelped in surprise.

"_This_ is the bitch he's fucking?" Someone said with a laugh. Your eyes landed on the source of the voice, a very tall slender man stood leaning casually against the wall, twirling a knife in his hands. "Thought he'd have better taste than that." He scoffed and rolled his eyes with a smirk.

"I kind of like her." Your captor said, licking his lips at you. The way he looked at you made your breath catch and not in a good way. He looked at you like you were his last meal.

"You would, Wonho." The tall man replied. He looked almost bored by the situation. You barely breathed as you quickly scanned the room. Aside from who you learned was Wonho, and the tall man there were two men you recognised from earlier, who had helped with your kidnapping. Neither of them spoke, just stood silently by the door as if they were guarding it. They both help guns in their hands and you gulped in fear.

"She's got a fire in her." Wonho said, eyeing you up and down. "I like a challenge." He sat down on the sofa next to you and leaned over, brushing your hair out of your face. The gentleness of the gesture somehow terrifying you even more. "You going to be a good girl and not move? I don't want to hit you again." All you could do was nod.

"I'd listen to him, before Jooheon gets here." The tall man looked over at you, eyebrows raised in warning. "He's not as forgiving as Wonho." That thought alone was scary, giving that this man had already knocked you unconscious. You wondered how bad this Jooheon person could be.

"Jooheon just wants to chat, baby girl." Wonho said. "So make sure and talk." He added with a smirk.

You could do nothing but sit there, wide eyed with fear, mind racing. The zip ties on your wrists were uncomfortably tight and you wanted nothing but to cut them off and run a million miles away from this room. It made no sense to you why these people would want to capture you. You were nobody. Unimportant. You knew nothing of this side of Shownu's life so if they wanted information they were out of luck. You just worried what they would do when they found out that you really didn't know _anything_.

The door to the room opened with a click and your eyes immediately went to the sound. In walked a dark haired man in a leather jacket, shoulders hunched and eyes narrowed. Behind him trailed a smaller man who was talking quickly but in a language you didn't understand. "Sir." Both Wonho and the tall man greeted him. You assumed this had to be Jooheon. His eyes landed on you and you looked away, unable to hold his powerful gaze. He sat down at the desk situated on the other side of the room.

"Bring her here." He said, making you look back up to him. "Now." He added. Wonho obliged instantly and hoisted you up, carrying you over to where Jooheon had instructed. He sat you down in the chair opposite the desk. "Do you have her phone?" He asked Wonho. The muscular man simply nodded and slipped your phone out of his pocket, sliding it across the desk to Jooheon. You wanted to speak, to cry out but you felt frozen. The cold calmness in the way Jooheon acted was intmidating. "Do you know why you're here?" He asked suddenly.

"N-no." You stuttered.

"Your boyfriend has something I want." Jooheon said calmly. "And I want you to get him to give it to me."

"I-Im really sorry but I _can't_ help you," You stressed, trying to control the panic rising in your voice.

"You might be the only one who can help me." His voice was deadly and it gave you chills.

"How can I help you?" You said feebly. "He really isn't my boyfriend, he's not going to listen to me, you're wasting your time." You were rambling now, the fear overcoming you. Jooheon silenced you with a wave of his hand.

"That might be true, but he cares about you. I can see it." Jooheon leaned back in his chair, eyes still trained on you. They had been watching you, spying on you and Shownu for god knows how long. "I've known Shownu a lot, lot longer than you have. Since we were children essentially." He said, taking you by surprise.

"Then why can't you get him to do what you want, if you know him so well?" The words slipped out of your mouth before you could stop them. Jooheon's eyes darkened.

"Why do you think you're here? This is how I'm doing it." He leaned on the desk, eyes never leaving yours. "You're my leverage. I'm willing to bet there's not much he won't do to keep you safe."

"What are you going to do to me?" You asked quietly.

"Nothing," Jooheon said simply. "Yet." He added, making your stomach knot with fear. "I want Shownu to worry a bit first, so you're going to be with us for a while."

"No, please!" You begged. "Please, I have a job, I have friends who will look for me. I'll do what you want just please let me go."

"I know _excatly_ who will look for you." Jooheon replied. "Kihyun's going to be so worried...." He trailed off. God, you hoped Kihyun was okay and they hadn't touched him. You would never forgive yourself if something happened to him. "Here's what's going to happen." Jooheon stated calmly. "I'm going to keep your phone and you're going to stay here for however long it takes for Shownu to get in touch. When he does I'll negotiate you for what I want. Simple."

"What do you want?" You asked.

"Your naughty boyfriend has been trading drugs with a very huge dealer and making lots of money. I want that dealer's business." He said simply. Your face twisted in confusion. Just exactly how dangerous was Shownu? You knew he was up to something, but something of this magnitude was completely unexpected. He was a drug dealer. A major drug dealer. "You didn't know?" Jooheon asked, seeing the look on your face.

"No." You said quietly. You could see Wonho smirking out the corner of your eye.

"So innocent!" Wonho laughed and squeezed your thigh. You recoiled in horror but he only laughed. Jooheon shot him a warning glance and he removed his hand but the smile remained on his face.

"Your boyfriend is a dangerous man, make no mistake." Jooheon warned. "But he's not stupid either. If he knows what's best for him he'll do what I'm asking."

"And if he doesn't?" You asked in a small voice.

"I'll kill you myself and leave your body on his doorstep." Jooheon was so calm you knew he really meant what he said. He didn't even blink as the words left his mouth. "Wonho," He turned to the man beside you. "Take her back to the basement." Wonho nodded and moved to lift you again. "And hands off, yeah? Don't want to traumatise her just yet."

Wonho picked you up once more, this time bridal style. You weren't sure who you were more scared of, him or Jooheon. He carried you back to the basement, this time you didn't struggle at all, accepting your fate for now. Once you were down the basement steps he sat you down on the bed and flicked the light on. "I'll be back later with some food, angel." He said, winking at you and leaving the room. You had to get out of here, you couldn't wait around for Shownu.

* * *

**KIHYUN'S POV**

It had been nearly 48 hours since Kihyun had discovered the bar half destroyed, which meant it had been 48 hours since anyone had seen or heard from Y/N. He had told the police what he knew but they hadn't had any leads yet and he was starting to get sick with worry. He felt useless, he just wanted to be able to do _something_. Anything to help.

He was cleaning the bar when a voice tore him from his thoughts. "I'm looking for Y/N." His eyes were met with Shownu's and instantly his grip on the cloth tightened, jaw clenching. "Is she here?"

"Nope." He said curtly, returning his attention back to cleaning, using every effort to control himself. He blamed Shownu for you disappearing. He hadn't trusted the older man from the moment he first laid eyes on him.

"Do you know where I might find her? I can't get a hold of her..." Shownu trailed off.

"Maybe she doesn't want to talk to you." Kihyun spat. Shownu's face screwed up in confusion at the younger man's hostility. "Or maybe she's gone fucking missing."

Shownu's brows furrowed. "Missing?" He said quietly. "What do you mean, missing?"

Kihyun stopped what he was doing and threw the cloth down harshly. "You tell me." He said coldly.

"What are you talking about?" Shownu's voice was calm but that didn't stop the panic start to creep up on him.

"Something's happened and she's gone, don't pretend like you don't have _something_ to do with it. You probably did it yourself, asshole." Kihyun narrowed his eyes, watching Shownu closely.

Shownu snapped, grabbing Kihyun roughly by the forearm before snatching him so their faces were almost touching. "Firstly, the only thing stopping me from smacking you across the mouth for speaking to me so rudely is I know how much Y/N cares about you, and she wouldn't want that. So watch your fucking tone when you speak to me." Kihyun stayed silent, furiously scowling at the older man. "Secondly, you need to tell me what happened. Now." He let go of Kihyun, shoving him away.

"Something happened, here, at the bar." Kihyun sighed. "I came to work the day after she was closing up alone. There were bullet holes and the door was kicked in. That's all I know."

Shownu froze. "Are you fucking serious?" Kihyun nodded gravely.

"I've reported it to the police, but nothing has come of it..." Kihyun threw his hands up in frustration.

"Listen to me," Shownu commanded. "No more police ok?"

"What? Why? We need - "

"No." Shownu interrupted, holding a hand up to silence the younger man. "I know more about this kind of stuff than you."

"What, kidnapping?!" Kihyun scoffed incredulously.

"Yes." Shownu said seriously. "Now stop being a brat and listen to me. Do you have cctv footage here?" Kihyun nodded, a confused look on his face. "Can I see it?"

"It's on the computer in the back." Kihyun stated. "Follow me." He led Shownu to the back office and started the computer. Shownu was silent, his expression unreadable. Kihyun pulled up the footage from that night and played it for Shownu. "There's no sound, only video." He explained.

Shownu said nothing as he watched. From the angle of the camera it was hard to see what happened, let alone who the perpetrator was. He suspected they knew that and had planned accordingly. "Pause here." He instructed and Kihyun did as he asked. It was the clearest shot of the incident and Shownu's stomach dropped when he recognised the face.

"What is it?" Kihyun asked, trying to read his face.

"I have to go." Shownu said suddenly. He made to leave.

"What is it?!" Kihyun was yelling now, frustrated. Shownu said nothing and stormed out of the office, making his way out of the bar, ignoring Kihyun's shouts. "Fucking weirdo." Kihyun mumbled under his breath. He didn't trust Shownu one bit and he suspected that he knew something, he only hoped it would help in finding Y/N alive.

* * *

**Y/N'S POV**

You weren't sure how long you had been in the basement, the only thing breaking up the hours were when Wonho would bring you food. Much to your dismay he insisted on watching you shower, smacking his lips in delight at your naked form. He claimed it was because you needed to be monitored at all times. As Jooheon had instructed he kept his hands off you but it didn't make you any less uncomfortable. As if on cue the basement door swung open and Wonho appeared in the doorway.

"You hungry princess?" He asked, casually strolling down the steps, tray of food in hand. You didn't answer. He crossed the room and set it on the small table next to the bed. "I think your boyfriend has finally figured out where you are." He added, completely taking you by surprise.

"How do you know?" You asked quickly.

"Jooheon got a very threatening phone call." He said. He sat next to you on the bed and instinctively you shifted further away from him. "At least he knows what Jooheon wants now..." He scooted closer to you and you averted his gaze. "I'm going to be sad when you go. Or when Jooheon kills you." He grabbed you roughly by the chin, forcing you to look at him.

"I thought you were told not to touch me." You spat, struggling to get out of his grip. He smirked and held you harder.

"Oh but I want to, Y/N." He leaned in close, his lips hovering over yours. "You're so cute when you're scared."

He was right, you were shaking you were so frightened but you were defiant. You'd had enough. "Let go of me!" You wiggled out of his grip but he was stronger, he grabbed you, rolling over so he had you on your back, pinned down with the weight of his muscular frame. "Get off!" You whined, trying to shake him off of you.

He ignored you, pinning your arms above your head in one swift movement. Wonho leaned down close to your ear, his hot breath tickling your skin. "I bet you moan like a bitch in heat when you get fucked." He thrust his hips up as if to drive his point home. It made your skin crawl. "The things I would do to you, princess." He planted a kiss on your neck. "I'd make you _cry_, baby girl."

You felt like you were going to cry already at his words. He moved to your mouth and gave you a sloppy kiss, getting frustrated when you turned your head away. Using his free hand he grabbed you by the chin forcing you to kiss him. You screwed your eyes shut tight, not even wanting to look at him. "Stop, please!" You cried but it was no use.

He started to undo your pants and that's when you snapped. Seizing his moment of distraction you did the only thing you could. You headbutted him as hard as you could, your skull colliding with his nose. "Fuck!" He screamed, hands flying to his face. His nose was bleeding profusely and he jumped off of you. "You bitch!"

He was so preoccupied with his nose you knew you had to act. You ran. Flying up the stairs, taking two at a time, not daring to look back. He shouted something but you didn't catch it, hellbent on getting out of there. You made it out of the basement door and into the hallway you recognised from before. You didn't know the way out but you had to act knowing Wonho wouldn't be long behind you.

Immediately you turned left and ran. All you needed was a window and you could escape.

You spotted one and your heart surged. _This was it_.

Before you even got close the wind was knocked out of you and you were flat on your back, the tall slender man you met when you arrived had tackled you, stopping you dead in your tracks. You groaned in pain rolling over. "What the fuck happened to your nose?" He said to Wonho as he roughly grabbbed you, pulling you to your feet.

"That bitch hit me," Wonho spat. "Tie her fucking hands." He said to the other man, still clutching his bloody face.

The tall man complied and grabbed some rope that was nearby. "What did we tell you?" He sighed, tightening the knot. It was painfully tight.

"What's going on?" All this commotion had attracted Jooheon's attention and he appeared as if from nowhere. He didn't look happy.

"She hit me that's what!" Wonho yelled, angrily pointing at you.

"It's under control Sir." The tall man replied.

"You had one job!" Jooheon yelled, his voice like thunder and you jumped. He grabbed Wonho by the scruff of his jacket and threw him to the ground, the blood from his nose going everywhere. "So fucking do it."

"I'm sorry." Wonho said, getting to his feet.

"I don't have time to be dealing with this shit." Jooheon said looking between Wonho and the other man. They said nothing, looking embarrassed. The man that was following Jooheon when you arrived suddenly appeared and he spoke quietly in that same foreign language as before. Jooheon's eyes fell on you immediately. "It looks like your boyfriend is here."


	5. Stay Safe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some more of Shownu's backstory is revealed...
> 
> warnings: sex/mentions of rape/knives/fighting/guns/blood

It wasn't the chaos you expected. In fact, it was oddly calm when Shownu arrived. Jooheon instructed the tall man, who you learned to be Hyungwon, to take you into the office where you had your first meeting. So here you sat waiting for Shownu to arrive, feeling nervous. Jooheon was sat at the desk in the room, his black gun resting an arms length away from him. You'd seen more weapons in the last 2 days than you had your entire life combined.

"If you try anything stupid again, I won't be afraid to use this." Hyungwon said, flashing his silver blade at you again. You gulped at the seriousness in his voice.

The door opened and Wonho entered. Your heart stopped when your eyes landed on Shownu, two men you had never seen before in tow. His gaze instantly went to you, tied up in the corner. "Are you ok?" He asked, eyes roaming the blood on your face that Wonho had spilled on you. You nodded, opening your mouth to reply but Jooheon spoke first.

"I'll ask the questions, if you don't mind." He said coolly. Shownu turned his attention to the dark haired man.

"What do you want Jooheon?" Shownu demanded, his voice low.

"You know what I want."

"I told you before, Min Yoongi works with who he wants. It's not my decision." Shownu said, an exasperated tinge to his voice. You were confused, unfamiliar with the name of the person being mentioned, although you could hazard a guess that this was the big time drug dealer Jooheon had mentioned before.

"You can't lean on him a little? Nudge him in my direction hyung?" Jooheon's words were friendly but you knew they meant anything but. In the short time you'd spent around him you sensed his powerful energy and you feared it.

"You know I can't do that." Shownu replied.

"You will if you want your pretty girlfriend back...in one piece." Jooheon said with a smirk. He had the upper hand and he knew it.

"Leave her out of it, Jooheon." Shownu said darkly.

"Too late. She's in it." Jooheon nodded to Hyungwon who grabbed a fistful of your hair, yanking you to your feet. You cried out in pain, completely at his mercy. It was subtle but you didn't miss the wince Shownu did at the sound of your cry.

"This is between me and you. Let her go." Shownu said, jaw flexing at the restraint of keeping his voice calm and steady.

"Do what I've asked and I will."

The tension in the room was palpable now as Jooheon waited for Shownu's answer. "It's not that simple." Came his reply. You were starting to get uncomfortable, Hyungwon's grip on you hadn't loosened.

Jooheon shrugged. "That's your problem, not mine. Get Min Yoongi to give me his business, I don't care how you do it."

"Fine." Shownu said to your surprise. "Let her go, now." He pointed to you. "I've agreed to your ridiculous demand."

"It's not that simple." Jooheon said, mocking Shownu's words from earlier. Shownu looked down at the dark haired man, his face hard. "She can go when you've actually done what I've asked."

"No." Shownu countered immediately. "She's not staying here a second longer." He said, his voice louder now.

"You've always been so demanding hyung, ever since we were little." Jooheon spat. "It's my way or no way."

Jooheon looked at Hyungwon again and gestured with his hand. Instantly he started to drag you out of the room by your hair and you wailed. Shownu reacted without thinking, his hand encircle Hyungwon's arm in a warning. "Let go." He threatened.

"Or what?" Jooheon exclaimed. Shownu didn't take his eyes off Hyungwon's silently telling him to do as he asked. You heard the unmistakable sound of a gun cocking and peered round to see Jooheon had raised his weapon and was pointing it at the three of you.

Shownu didn't seem fazed, expression stoic as ever. "You're not going to shoot me." He said with such confidence it bewildered you.

"Try me, Hyunwoo." Jooheon taunted. You looked in between the two men, confused at the name. Hyunwoo?

"You don't have the guts," Shownu said darkly.

Jooheon fired the gun, deliberately missing Shownu. You screamed at the unexpected sound, ducking out of instinct. "You want to test that theory?" Jooheon asked.

Shownu turned back to Jooheon. "I'll do what you want, but she leaves here today with me. How badly do you want my help?"

Jooheon's chest was heaving, seething with anger. You wondered what had happened between the two men for them to have this much tension. Without warning he swung his fist and it connected with Shownu's face. He stumbled back a bit, caught off guard. His hand touched at his lip, blood starting to spill. "If you don't," His words were like ice, dripping with malice. "I will find her, I will fucking kill her slowly and I'll make you watch the entire thing."

Hyungwon shoved you towards Shownu, who caught you before you stumbled, pulling you into his arms. "Are you quite finished?" Shownu said, his voice equally cold.

"Get the fuck out of my sight." Jooheon spat.

"Gladly." Shownu replied and turned on his heel to leave, taking you with him. The two men he had brought followed behind. You stumbled along in a daze, feeling utterly shocked at what you witnessed. Your eyes went to Shownu as you walked and you couldn't help but feel like he was a stranger.

* * *

Shownu was almost totally silent the entire ride home. You didn't speak either, nervous to say anything in front of the two strangers that rode along with you. It wasn't until you were alone that Shownu spoke up.

"Are you ok?" He said softly, brushing your hair out of your face and looking down at you with such sad eyes you wanted to cry. You just nodded, making him sigh. "Let's get you home."

He held your hand as you walked into the apartment building you shared together. You felt numb. The past few days felt like a bad dream you never wanted to have again. You let yourself in to your apartment, Shownu close behind. "I want to shower," You mumbled. "Wash this blood off me."

"Are you hurt?" Shownu asked, looking worried.

"It's not my blood. I broke Wonho's nose." You pointed out. "He tried to - he tried to-" You couldn't even say it out loud, words catching in your throat. Before you realised it hot tears were spilling down your cheeks.

"Hey, it's ok." Shownu cooed, wrapping his arms around you but it only made you cry harder. "What did he do to you?" He asked, tucking your head undeath his, a palm resting gently on the back of your head.

"He's a fucking creep." You managed to get out. "I think he would have raped me if hadn't hurt him." Shownu's grip on you tightened at your words.

"I'll fucking kill him." He spat.

You flinched at the words, having had enough of violent men recently. You pushed Shownu away. "We need to talk, Shownu." He nodded, understanding that this conversation was inevitable. You took his hand in yours and led him over to the sofa, pulling him down next to you as you sat.

"These people will pay for this." He said to you, his eyes dark and cold once more. "I'll make sure of it. I'm so sorry this happened to you." He clenched his fist in anger and you knew he was deadly serious. "I'm sorry I couldn't protect you."

"There's so much you haven't told me, Shownu." You said quietly. His eyes bore into yours, his gaze intense, waiting for you to continue. "You need to change that, because what you haven't told me almost got me killed today. I can't go through that again."

He took a deep sigh and ran a hand through his hair. "I told you before, I tell you what you need to know."

"You don't think your name is need to know information? Yeah that's right Hyunwoo." You added before he could respond. He looked down at your interlaced hands and you wondered if he felt guilty.

"That's not who I am anymore. I didn't think it was relevant..." He trailed off, still refusing to look at you.

"I feel like I don't know you at all. Jooheon of all people told me what you do. All this time I never knew." You said, removing your hand from his. "I don't think I can do this anymore." He finally looked up at you and you couldn't miss the hurt in his eyes. "I don't want to live in constant fear, Shownu."

"I warned you when we first started talking that my life is like this." He said and your heart twinged at how small his voice sounded. "You think I want you to be scared all the time? Of course not. I just liked you so much I couldn't stay away." He sighed again.

This was the person you thought you knew. Not the drug dealing thug you'd witnessed today. "Did you know they were going to do that to me?" You asked suddenly.

"No." He said quietly. "I didn't even know they got to you until I spoke to Kihyun."

Your heart dropped at the sound of your friends name. "Is he ok?" You asked quickly.

Shownu nodded. "Yeah, he's fine. Just a bit shaken up."

You made a mental note to phone your friend later. Right now all you wanted to do was sleep and forget. Your body was aching from the physical abuse it suffered. "Are you going to do what Jooheon wants?" You asked, because your life literally did depend on it.

"Yes. I don't have a choice." Shownu said, eyes raking over you silently saying because of you. "I won't let anything happen to you again Y/N. I mean it."

"How can I trust that when something already did?" You mumbled. His eyes wrinkled, your words hurting him.

"Because I won't let you out of my sight ever again." His face was deadpan, he meant what he said. He grabbed both of your hands and pulled you into his lap, kissing you as he did so. It felt so nice to be in his arms again. You kissed him back, your body betraying you at his touch. He had this way of making you feel so secure in arms, thoughts of how dangerous he was vanishing like a cloud. His hands were all over you, needing to feel every inch of you. "Anything you want to know, ask and I'll tell you. No secrets." He said quietly against your lips, pulling you in for another kiss.

"Shownu," You sighed in pleasure as you felt his hand skim the waist band of your jeans, before disappearing into your underwear. He rubbed your clit a few times making you whimper against his mouth.

"Let me make you feel good." He whispered. "Please." He sounded so desperate, his desire to make it up to you thick in his voice. His hand slid down and he slipped two fingers in to you, making you grasp his bicep in shock. He gently began to move them in and out and already you could feel yourself start to heat up. You buried your face into the crook of his neck and let him have his way with you, moaning every time the palm of his hand touched your clit. "You always feel so amazing, so warm and so wet." He breathed into your ear.

You were getting close and he could tell. He stood you up and peeled off your jeans and underwear. You let him, brain on autopilot, wanting nothing more than to feel close to him. Shownu then lifted his hips off the sofa just high enough to pull down his trousers and boxers. You wasted no time, immediately straddling him, sinking down on to his cock. "Fuck." You moaned at the sensation of finally having him inside you. He pulled you close, arms wrapping so tightly around your body you could barely breathe. It was as if he never wanted to let go.

He began to thrust his hips up, slowly at first, careful to keep his cock buried deep inside of you. "Please go faster," You whined, rocking your own hips to encourage him. "Make me feel good." You repeated his promise pressing your forehead against his and he groaned, complying and moving his hips quicker.

It wasn't long before you were both coming undone. You cried out loudly against his neck when your orgasm washed over you, clinging to him for dear life. He followed soon after, the sensation of your pussy squeezing him pushing him over the edge and with a cry of your name he came deep inside you. You moved to climb off him but he only held you tighter, wanting to savour the moment of feeling this connected to you. He was still hard but you could feel his cock start to soften.

"You mean so much to me, Y/N." Shownu said breathlessly, gazing intently at you. You responded by kissing him sweetly on the lips. He had come to mean a lot to you too over the last few months. You cared a lot about him and you knew he appreciated that you accepted him as he was, violence and all. But how much longer could you continue? You couldn't stop the question forming in your mind as you looked at him. Is this worth it?

* * *

The moment you saw Kihyun he pulled you into a rib crushing hug, which felt strange but familiar given that he had been cold towards you the last few weeks. "You're hurting me, Ki." You mumbled into his chest, your body still aching from your ordeal.

"Sorry," He breathed, with a sigh of relief. "I'm just so glad you're okay." His eyes went to the now healing cut on the side of your head and he touched a finger to it. "Shit." He mumbled. "Are you even ok?"

"I'm getting there." You replied with a reassuring smile.

The two of you were alone in your apartment. Kihyun had practically invited himself over when you had called him to let him know that you were fine and not missing. You sat on your sofa, blushing at the memory of what happened there with Shownu less than 12 hours ago. "Are you going to tell me what happened?" Kihyun's voice cut through your thoughts.

You winced a little at his words, really not wanting to discuss the last few days in depth. Kihyun was your friend. Your closest friend probably and you wanted to tell him but couldn't find the right words. "Shownu saved me." You tried to smile but Kihyun's expression remained stony.

"I'm pretty sure he was the reason some men fucking kidnapped you in the first place." He said coldly. You stared at him, a little taken a back. How much did he know exactly?

"Listen I've been through a lot," You began with a sigh and his expression softened. "Be nice to me ok, Ki?"

He grabbed your hand and squeezed, looking at you with kind eyes. "I'm sorry. I just want you to tell me the truth."

And so you did. You explained what had happened to you, leaving out the attempted rape because it was too traumatic to speak aloud. Kihyun sat quietly, listening carefully and occasionally giving your hand a squeeze at the parts that were more difficult for you to get out. You finished speaking and he sighed for what felt like a long time. He scooted closer to you, pulling you into a hug.

"I missed you, you know." You said to him, wrapping your arms around his neck. "It's so nice to have you speak to me again. Like old times."

"Before you painfully rejected me and broke my heart." Kihyun joked but you caught the flicker of sadness in his eyes.

"Ki," You whined. "Don't be like that."

"I missed you too, Y/N." He admitted. He slowly withdrew his arms from you and leaned back on the sofa. "What's going on with you and him now anyway?"

"I honestly don't know Ki," You said truthfully. The whole situation was messy and part of you just wanted to cut your losses and get away. Then Shownu would kiss you and you'd never want him to stop. "I know he feels really guilty, he blames himself entirely. I just don't know how safe I am continuing to be with him."

"That sentence there should be enough for you to just end it." Kihyun frowned, looking at you. "You shouldn't be with anyone who makes you feel like you're in danger, Y/N."

"I know, you're right." You sighed.

"What if something bad happens again? Or something worse?" Kihyun was getting exasperated now, voice rising. "Why would you want to increase your chances of that?"

"I like him, Kihyun. I can't help it." You said, knowing how much those words would sting your friend but you had to be honest regardless.

If he was hurt, he didn't show it. "Enough to risk your life?!" He scoffed.

"No." You said quietly. At least you didn't think so.

"I can't tell you what to do Y/N," He said slowly. "All I can do is give you my advice. Regardless of whatever happened between us you know I care about you."

That much was true. You knew Kihyun really did care for you and you didn't want him to worry. The thought of Jooheon's threat popped into your mind, and an image of your mangled corspe followed a second after. You couldn't put your friends and family through that. So you decided, the only way to ensure your safety was to be where Jooheon couldn't find you. Which, you thought sadly, it meant you had to break up with Shownu.

* * *

You put it off for a few days. Shownu had called a few times but you ignored him. He had even come by your apartment once but you pretended not to be home. You were a coward. The last thing you wanted was to see his beautiful face in pain. However the guilt was gnawing at you and you decided to just bite the bullet and do it.

"Where have you been? I've been worried." Were the first words out of his mouth as he crossed the threshold into your home. You bit your lip, already feeling slightly nauseous.

"Sorry, I've just been busy, with work and Kihyun..." You mumbled your excuse, trailing off. "Shownu, we need to talk." He froze at your words, body tensing up immediately. Everyone knows the phrase 'we need to talk' is rarely followed by anything good. "Can we sit?"

He nodded and followed you to kitchen. Your mind flashed back to the night you tended to his wounds, sat in the very same chair as now. God if only you had known what would happen after that night maybe you never would have bothered. "Talk." He ordered.

"I don't think we should see each other anymore." You said. You didn't mean to be so blunt but you were nervous and it just sort of came out that way.

"Okay..." Shownu said slowly, looking a little confused.

"I know you said you'd keep me safe, but I just can't risk it Shownu." You said quietly. "I don't belong in your world, I don't agree with it. It scares me. I don't want to live my life like that. As much as I like you..."

"You can't. I get it." He said roughly. "I think you're making a mistake."

"I'm sorry." You said, looking down. "I have to do this."

"I meant what I said Y/N. I care about you, deeply." He sighed heavily. "And the no secrets part. I meant that too."

You felt like you were going to cry. This was the same soft side of him that always reeled you in. "I really am sorry." You repeated.

"I can't force you to be with me." He mumbled, standing up. "I think I should go now." You silent as you watched him walk to your front door. He grabbed the handle and pulled, pausing for a second he looked at you and said "Stay safe, Y/N." Echoing the first time he ever bid you goodbye, except now it would be the last. He didn't wait for your reply, choosing to leave your house and your life for good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you think this is the last of evil!jooheon think again ;D


	6. Darkness Follows

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Life after Shownu is peaceful, but for how long?
> 
> warnings: stabbing/PURE drama/reader is kind of manipulative to kihyun lol

The decision to move out was an easy one for you. Not only did you not want to risk encountering Shownu in the hallway, you were certain Jooheon knew where you lived - a fact you wanted to change. His threat lingered in the back of your mind almost constantly, and you found yourself on edge a lot more these days. Looking over your shoulder, triple checking locked doors, going nowhere alone. Thankfully you had Kihyun.

He had been by your side almost every day since you ended things with Shownu. He had helped you move into your new apartment, in a completely new district. He had stayed with you when you felt lonely. He'd come round at 3am when you had another bad dream. You were lucky to have him and you made sure he knew it.

Kihyun was disappointed when you left the bar to work somewhere else. For your peace of mind you _had_ to. The last thing you wanted was Jooheon, or worse - Wonho - to find you there again. The only benefit to come from it, much to Kihyun's joy, was that you were spending far more time together now than ever before and your friendship stronger than ever.

"I should just move in since I spend so much time here." Kihyun joked one night, sat on your bed, spooning ice cream into his mouth. You'd asked him to join you yet again and you'd put on a movie to try and distract yourself. It wasn't really working, if you were honest. Today was a bad day for you. You were miserable. You missed Shownu.

"You'd _hate_ it, I'm too messy for you." You rolled your eyes at him and took a bite of your ice cream. The film was playing away to itself and you tried harder to focus on it, although you had no idea what was happening. Your mind kept flitting back to memories of Shownu. It had been nearly three months since and you still couldn't shake him.

"I'd just have to follow you around and clean up after you." Kihyun grinned, nudging you playfully with his elbow. He stretched across you, placing his empty ice cream carton on the nightstand, kissing you on the temple as he went. This is how your relationship was now. You weren't dating, absolutely not. But your sadness had allowed him to be closer with you and Kihyun couldn't help himself from acting like a protective boyfriend. Nothing had actually happened between you but he definitely was happy about you letting him touch and kiss you in a not-so-platonic way.

"Trust me, that would grow old fast." You replied. He shifted in the bed, pulling you close to him. You leaned in, enjoying just feeling another warm body next to you. It wasn't the same as Shownu but at least you weren't alone.

"I'd never get tired of you noona," He said simply. He settled in, focusing back on the movie. You felt his hand absent mindedly start to run through your hair. It felt nice. You sighed inwardly. Why couldn't this be enough for you? Kihyun was nice. It would be simple with him, easy. He loved you. He had you on a pedestal and would do anything for you. If only you could force your heart to want him in that way.

"Hmm," Was all you murmured in response.

"You ok? You're quiet tonight." He pointed out after a few moments of silence passed between you. You thought you were putting up a good front but Kihyun somehow always saw through it.

"I'm ok. Just thinking, I guess." You answered. You still hadn't been able to pay attention to the movie and you were even more lost now, which knowing Kihyun, he could probably tell.

"You've been through a lot. It's okay to have bad days." He said quietly, a hand rubbing your back affectionately. Kihyun hadn't brought up Shownu or what had happened to you since, preferring to skirt around the topic with vague mentions like that. It was like if he didn't speak it into existence it wasn't real. He wanted you to forget as badly as you did, if not _more_.

"I know." You offered a meek smile to him. "Thanks, Ki."

"For what?" He asked, raising a confused brow at you.

"Just for being here. I appreciate it." You touched his cheek affectionately. He smiled and grabbed your hand in his, placing a kiss on it.

"You're welcome." He replied. "Now can we turn off this movie? I _know_ you're not watching it." He said and you laughed for the first time that night, nodding.

Maybe you just needed more time. Things would get better. They had to.

* * *

Your new job sucked. There was no other way to say it. You had taken another management role at a new bar, but you were struggling to adjust. It was quieter than the place you'd worked before and the hours would crawl by. The team was _okay,_ you got on well with them but you missed working with your friends.

Tonight you were on the closing shift, which made you anxious now. The you from four months ago never batted an eye at the late nights, regularly coming home well after midnight. But now you felt like Jooheon or someone he'd sent for you was behind every corner, lurking in every shadow. It was particularly worse on the nights Kihyun couldn't pick you up, having to make the journey home solo.

The first thing you did when locking up now was lock the front door first and every time you did you thought of the night Wonho entered your bar. Your thoughts drifted to him and you couldn't help but wonder if Shownu had fulfilled his promise and killed him. The thought made you shudder. You didn't _want_ to think of Shownu as a monster but you knew somewhere deep down he had that dark streak in him.

You did your usual routine, starting to switch off different light switches and making sure all the equipment that needed to be turned off was. You sent a quick text to Kihyun as you walked through the swing door that separated the staff area from the actual bar. As it was sending, you heard what sounded like a door shut and you froze. You were completely alone tonight, no one here to make noise but you.

You listened carefully, barely even breathing now. All you could hear was your heartbeat pounding in your ears. Maybe it was a mistake. Maybe you had imagined it. You were so on edge being alone it could easily be your mind playing tricks on you. You waited a few more seconds. "Is someone there?" You called out into the silence. "I have mace." You warned.

Silence.

Realising you couldn't stand there all night, you took a deep breath and continued down the hallway. It rounded to the left, meaning you couldn't see round the corner and you hesitated. "Fuck it." You muttered under your breath. You turned the corner, which led to the staff door and your eyes landed on Shownu standing there. You couldn't help it, being so on edge and you let out a blood curdling scream and collapsed onto the floor in shock.

"Y/N! it's ok!" Came his deep voice. Your brain barely even registered it. You felt like you were going to pass out.

"No, no, no, no.." You said in a panic, scooting backwards on the floor in an attempt to get away. You didn't know why Shownu of all people was standing there but you knew this meant _bad news_.

"Y/N!" He shouted. "It's ok. Don't be scared." He held his hands up, palms facing towards you in surrender. Your phone had gone flying when you fell and you fumbled trying to pick it up.

"I will call the police!" You threatened, eventually managing to grasp the phone in your shaking hands.

"I'm not here to hurt you." He said, his voice lower now. "Please, you need to believe me Y/N."

You stared up at him, wide-eyed in fear. His eyes were pleading with yours to believe him. You recognised the look in his eyes from all the time he had promised to keep you safe before. "W-What d-do you want?" You spluttered.

"I need to talk to you." He stated. His hands fell back down to his sides. He took a few steps towards you and offered you his hand to help you up off the ground. "_Please_."

"You couldn't have called?" You spat.

"It's too important." He said shaking his head, a grave look on his face. You took his outstretched hand and he pulled you to your feet. Heart rate still nowhere near normal you let out a shaky breath.

"You nearly gave me a heart attack." You mumbled. "How did you even know I was here?"

"I have ways of knowing these things..." He trailed off. You noticed you were still holding his hand and you dropped it as if it had suddenly burned you. "Is there somewhere we can talk?" He asked.

"If we have to," You sighed. You turned on your heel, dusting yourself off as you walked. You didn't have to look behind to know that Shownu was following you. You led him to your office and he followed you inside. Straight away you sat behind your desk, wanting as much space as possible between you and him. "Talk then."

To your dismay he walked round to your side of the desk and perched on the edge of it. Now that he was in a much brighter room you could see a fresh scar on his face and his eyes looked sunken and tired. He was still beautiful, you thought, but he didn't look as good as usual. "Are you ok?" He asked.

"You came here to ask me if I'm ok?!" you said dubiously.

He sighed. "It was just a question." He waited for you to answer but when you refused to speak he carried on. "I need you to listen to me, and listen carefully."

"What's going on?" You asked, alarmed.

"I think you might be in danger, Y/N." He said bluntly. Your alarm was now descending into full on panic.

"W-What?" You whispered.

"It's complicated." He frowned. "Jooheon is not happy with me."

"You said you would keep me safe!" You yelled. The realisation of what exactly an angry Jooheon meant spurring you into anger. Why should you have to die because two old friends were trying to spite each other?

"Why do you think I'm here?" He said quietly, eyes casting downwards, avoiding your gaze. "Is there somewhere you can go? Maybe stay with family?" He asked. You froze for a moment, confused at the unusual question. "As soon as possible. The further away the better..." He added.

"Huh?" Most of your family lived close by and the ones that didn't you weren't close enough to stay with. "N-no. No, there's not. I can't just drop everything! I have to work!"

"Do you think I would be asking you this if it wasn't absolutely the only option?" He asked, dark, narrowed eyes lifting up to look at you again. His serious expression sent a chill down your spine.

"No." You said in a small voice.

"What about if you get out of the country? Go abroad for a bit?" He asked.

"How long is a bit?" You asked, fearing the answer.

"Just a few weeks, tops."

"I definitely don't have the money for _weeks _abroad." You said with a sigh. This whole situation was making your head hurt and you rubbed your temples in frustration.

"I'll pay for everything." He said quickly. "It's my fault your in this mess."

"Shownu -" You started but he cut you off.

"Just tell me where you want to go and we'll book for as soon as possible." He said softly. "It's the only way. Jooheon can't hurt you if he doesn't know where you are. At the moment, he knows exactly where you were, where you are, where you will be."

It was almost like having the wind knocked out of you. After the upheaval to your life and the many changes you'd made it was all for nothing. Tears welled in your eyes. You didn't want to die.

"Ok." You breathed. He was right. There really was no other way. How long could you realistically hide from someone like Jooheon? Work would be ok without you for a few weeks, you were the boss after all, you could take time off. "How will I know when it's safe to come back?"

"I'll let you know." He instructed. You sighed. This was your fate and you had to accept it.

He discussed with you some recommendations of places he knew would be safer than others. You'd even managed to get him to agree to see if Kihyun would come with you. You didn't want Jooheon to use him to get to you. He quickly booked it on his phone, staying true to his promise of paying for everything. All that was left was for you to go home, beg Kihyun to leave with you and then pack. Your flight left for Hong Kong the following evening.

"Are you going to tell me why Jooheon's angry?" You got the confidence to finally ask as Shownu slipped his phone back into his pocket.

"Do you remember that deal he wanted me to make for him? Well it fell through and he blames me." Shownu admitted, letting out a puff of air. You could tell he had a lot on his mind. It may have been a few months since you last saw him but he hadn't changed much.

"He really has it in for you, huh?" You asked, tilting your head at him. Shownu nodded.

"Unfortunately." A few moments of silence passed, both of you just looking at each other. You wanted to say so much to him but your mouth just wouldn't move. You wondered if he felt the same ache in his chest as you did every time he popped into your head, if he had lost sleep over you, if he even thought about you much at all. "I missed you, you know." He said so quietly that if you weren't staring at him you wouldn't know his lips had moved at all.

"You have?" That came as a surprise to you. You'd had literally zero contact with him. No text, no calls, nothing.

"Yes." He said simply. "Did you miss me?"

"Sometimes." You said. It was mostly a lie but you couldn't bring yourself to admit that you missed him a huge amount.

"I was sad when you moved." He admitted, a tiny smile tugging at his full lips. "Guess I just wanted to be able to bump into you.."

"I had to." You said with a sad smile. He nodded, understanding. "My new place is nicer though, so it's not all bad."

"It's nice here." He said. "You didn't answer me before when I asked if you were ok." He pointed out.

You sighed. "I'm getting there. Thank god I have Ki though."

"Are you two together now?" Shownu asked, taking you aback. He must have just assumed given your insistence on the younger man accompanying you. You paused, biting your lip.

"No. Sort of. Not really. I don't know." You sighed. Shownu's face twisted in confusion at your vague answer. You didn't particularly want to openly admit that there had been no one since him. You hadn't even felt the desire to try and find someone, knowing sex with anyone else after Shownu would not compare. Kihyun filled in the void for the companionship so you had been kept going by that.

"Right..." His voice trailed off and he pushed himself up off the desk. "I'm sorry we had to see each other under these circumstances Y/N. It was still nice to see your pretty face though," He touched your cheek with a little smile. "I should get going, do you need a lift home?" He asked.

"No," You replied shaking your head. "I drove."

"Well, goodbye for now then. I'll be in touch soon ok?"

"Ok."

* * *

"No way. You've lost your mind."

Kihyun's response shouldn't have come as a surprise to you given his hatred for Shownu, yet you still were a little shocked. You had stressed how important this was, how frightening Jooheon was and how Kihyun might be in danger too but all he had focused on was the Shownu part. Sometimes his immaturity frustrated you.

It was understandable for him not to truly understand. He hadn't gone through what you had or seen what you had. But he should trust you.

"Please," You begged. "You have to come with me. I cannot go without you."

"No." He shook his head. "I can't believe you trust that criminal." He spat.

Kihyun was sat on your bed when you got home and now he was watching you pack, an incredulous look on his face. His eyes were following you back and forth as you went from suitcase to wardrobe. "I can't believe you don't trust me!" You exclaimed, throwing a balled up t-shirt at him. He caught it with a scoff.

"I do! This all just sounds so crazy!" He shouted back.

"Listen to me," You walked over to the bed and cupped his face with both your hands, forcing him to look at you. "I have to do this, my life depends on it. And I need you, Ki. Come with me." He tried to look away but you didn't relent, gripping him tighter. An idea came to you. You _needed_ to get him to come with you. So you did something you knew would get him to agree.

Leaning down, you pressed your lips to his and kissed him, putting all the desperation you felt at your situation into the kiss. You hoped it would fool him.

He didn't react right away because he was shocked. You had never, ever kissed him on the mouth before. You'd never even hinted at wanting to do it. As soon as you pushed your tongue into his mouth, he kissed you back hard, hands flying to your waist. Once he moaned into your mouth you pulled away, feeling guilty. "Please." You whispered.

"Alright." He sighed. "I'll go home and pack." He grumbled.

It worked. You felt like a terrible human, but at least your friend would be safe.

* * *

The terror that followed you like a dark cloud was dissipating ever so slowly as your flight time approached. You were going to get away. Kihyun agreed to meet you at the airport so you were alone in your apartment, making sure you had everything you needed. "Fuck!" You swore out loud, realising you didn't have cash. You'd need it for the cab to the airport.

Luckily there was an ATM a really short walk away. Quickly you grabbed your keys, knowing you'd have plenty of time if you were fast.

It didn't take long for you to get your cash and make it back to your building. You were debating even leaving early, desperate to get going. You unlocked your door and what you saw inside made you drop your keys in shock. You wanted to scream but the sound was trapped in your throat.

Jooheon was sat in your apartment, on the sofa as if he owned the place, your passport and boarding pass in hand. "Going somewhere?" He smirked, wiggling the passport at you.

You turned around to leave, to run, as fast as you can and as far as your legs would carry you. However a figure had appeared in your doorway, blocking it. You knew the face straight away - it was Wonho. His face was different though, you could tell it was him but just about. He had a massive scar stretching the length of his face and an eyepatch. You gasped, audibly.

"Long time no see, princess." He said coldly. There was no arrogant, flirty undertone to his voice this time around.

Behind you Jooheon stood up, the couch creaking alerting you to his movement. "Loving the new digs, Y/N. Better than your last place." Part of you had suspected for a long time that Jooheon was the one who broke into your last place. This only confirmed it.

"Why are you here?" Your voice came out barely above a whisper.

"Your boyfriend has used up my last bit of patience," He sighed, tossing the passport onto the coffee table. "Oh I'm sorry, he's not your boyfriend anymore is he?" He smirked.

"So why am I still involved?" You hissed.

"He loves you." Jooheon shrugged. "This is the only language that gets through to him I'm afraid." His hand reached into his pocket and he pulled out a swiss knife, clicking it open. The silver blade glinted in the sunlight. He took a step towards you and you backed away out of instinct, terrified and you felt your back crash into Wonho.

Wonho grabbed you, locking both your arms tightly behind your back. Jooheon closed the remaining distance between you. Without warning he plunged the knife directly into your abdomen and pulled upwards. You had never felt pain like this before and you wailed loudly, scrunching your face in agony. Wonho tossed you to the floor and you buckled, unable to even breath.

Jooheon said nothing. You watched through blurry tear filled eyes as he whipped his phone out and snapped a picture of you, no doubt to send to Shownu. Your vision was starting to tunnel, blackness tacking over. The last thing you heard before they left you there was Wonho say "I bet that fool will think he can save her."

You were going to die on the floor, undignified and alone. You were going to die on the floor and not one person knew where you were.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have definitely been watching wayyyyyy too many kdrama's lately because this is the most extra, dramatic thing i've ever written haha. i'll see myself out XD


	7. Repair and Recover

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a/n: hello! sorry this has been a while. life n stuff, ya know?! anyway thank you for waiting and here it is :D

Your body felt weightless, like you were floating almost but your mind was hazy. When you opened your eyes all you saw was blinding white for a moment before the room came in to focus. The bed you were in was adorned in white, comfortable sheets but there was a metal railing on the side. You were in a hospital.

To your right you recognised the straight dark hair of Kihyun, who had his head resting on the bed, forehead in the palm of his hands, fast asleep. Your first thought was how did I get here. The last memory you had was the agony Jooheon had unleashed on you. Your hand instantly went to your abdomen at the thought. Lifting the sheet you peeked down at your torso. There was an angry red line, with many stitches holding the flesh closed.

You survived. But how?

Your mouth felt disgusting and dry. You shifted in bed and tried to sit up, but a groan escaped your lips when pain shot through you. The movement and the noise you made alerted Kihyun, who stirred in his sleep and raised his head. His eyes widened in shock when he saw you awake. "Y/N!" He gasped. "You're awake!"

"Kihyun," You started to speak but your dry throat made it sound more like a rough whisper. You cleared your throat and tried again. "Can I have water?"

He nodded quickly and sprang up, rushing to a table in the corner of the room where a water filter stood. He poured you a glass. "Here." He said gently, helping you take a sip. The liquid tasted like the best thing you had ever drank in your life and you finished the cup easily. "I need to tell the doctors you're awake." He said as he sat back down again.

"Wait," You croaked. The hand that was reaching for the call nurse button hesitated mid air. "How long have I been out for?" You needed answers.

"Nine days." Kihyun answered. "You've been kind of in and out of it. You woke up a few days ago and said something then you were gone again. I think it's the painkillers."

"How did I get here?" You asked. You had literally zero recollection of what happened. Kihyun tensed and swallowed hard, his reaction instantly making you nervous. He cleared his throat.

"Well...I don't know all the details but Shownu brought you here." He replied.

"What?" You whispered. "Shownu? How did he find me? I was left on the floor, Jooheon and Wonho just abandoned -"

Kihyun cut off your babbling by shushing you. "Don't get worked up, it's okay." He cooed, clutching your hand in his. "He had come to check on you, make sure you went to the airport. You were almost dead when he found you."

You started to cry as you thought of Shownu finding you. You know the lengths he went to, to keep you safe. You also couldn't believe how lucky you were to be alive, and not dead in your hallway. It was all a bit too much for you. "Where is he? Is he here too? Can I speak to him?" You asked tearfully.

Kihyun shifted nervously. "Uh, no, he's not here. I haven't seen him at all since he brought you here actually."

That kind of stunned you. Shouldn't Shownu care whether you had survived or not? "Oh..." You said quietly, feeling dejected.

"You've got me though." Kihyun offered with a small smile. You just nodded. He wiped away the tears on your face.

"Don't cry, it's ok." He said softly. "I need to call the doctor now, alright?" He asked. You nodded.

He pressed the button and you waited, even the pain in your abdomen was not stopping you from wondering where Shownu was and what he was doing, but most importantly, was he thinking about you?

* * *

It wasn't long until you were able to leave the hospital, fortunately. Kihyun had stuck by you like glue and you were thankful you weren't alone. Walking was still painful but at least you were managing to be up on your feet, albeit relying heavily on Kihyun's arm that was looped through yours. He was escorting you back to your apartment, a task you were dreading however necessary it was. The last thing you wanted to see was the place you were stabbed.

"Ok?" Kihyun asked you as you let go of him to unlock your door. You answered him with a nod of your head. Taking a deep breath you pushed open the front door. You simply let it swing open and remained motionless. Half of you expected Jooheon to be sitting on your sofa again. "Let's go in?" Kihyun suggested, seeing you were reluctant.

You didn't move, letting your eyes fall down to floor. There was no blood there anymore, but you could practically see the scene in your mind. Someone had cleaned it up and you wondered who. You let out a shaky breath and entered the apartment, Kihyun close behind.

"You don't have any food, so we can order in if you like? My treat." He smiled at you as you settled on to the sofa. Your gaze was drawn to the coffee table where your passport and boarding pass still lay, exactly where Jooheon had left them. You hastily covered them with a magazine.

"That sounds good." You said quietly. Kihyun took out his phone and it made you wonder where yours was, having not touched it since you were last in here.

"Chinese ok?" He muttered as he scrolled. You hummed in agreement and made a move to stand up. This caught Kihyun's attention. "Where you going?"

"Need to get my phone." You said, wincing slightly in pain. He just watched you cautiously as you hobbled to the hallway, your phone still resting on the entrance way table. You picked it up and tried to turn it on but the battery had died long ago. Grabbing your charger you made your way back to the sofa and plugged it in.

"Food is on it's way." Kihyun said tossing his phone on the cushion next to him. "Are you ok?"

"I'm ok! Stop asking me that." You smiled.

"Sorry," He said sheephisly. "I just worry."

"Thank you for worrying about me." You replied and he gave you a big smile, showing off his teeth. Your phone chimed signalling it was back on and you reached for it. The messages you missed started to come through and there was a lot. Mostly from Kihyun, on the day you were injured asking where you were. There were even a few missed calls from Shownu but nothing recent.

Feeling brave you decided to phone him. At the very least you wanted to let him know you were ok. You pressed the green call button and held the phone to your ear, holding a hand up to silence Kihyun when he asked who you were calling. However the phone didn't ring, instead there was a robotic voice telling you that the number no longer existed.

Strange, you thought. You tried again thinking it was maybe a mistake but the same recorded message was all you got. You felt your heart squeeze with pain in your chest. Without this number there was no way for you to get in contact with Shownu. You didn't know if he still lived in your old building, where he hung out, or even who his friends were. Tears welled in your eyes.

"What's wrong?" Kihyun was quick to ask, worry in his voice. You just shook your head no. You didn't want to talk about it but he pressed again. "Why are you crying?"

A choked sob escaped your mouth before you could help it. He switched seats so he was right next to you and wrapped his arms around you. "Sorry." You mumbled but the tears kept coming.

"What is it? What can I do to help?" Kihyun said gently.

"I want to see Shownu." You admitted, unable to keep it in any longer. Kihyun just let out a long sigh, squeezing you tighter.

"Is that really a good idea?" He said quietly.

"I don't care." You sniffed. "After everything we've been through together, he's the only one I think would understand."

"I'm trying to understand." Kihyun said in a small voice.

"I know you are." You reassured, touching his face gently but he just looked at you sadly. "I really, really miss him. It hurts." You hadn't really spoken so openly about your feelings for Shownu to Kihyun before and you could tell it was making him uncomfortable but you didn't care. You needed to speak about this. Maybe it was the only way your heart would heal. It was time to stop suppressing every painful thought and emotion.

"Why do you miss someone like that so much?" Kihyun asked you, averting your gaze.

"He's not the way you think he is. When we were alone it was...different. Special." You said. "I'm sorry to go on about him. I just tried to reach him and he's changed his number."

"Isn't that a good sign to forget him Y/N?" He muttered.

You remained quiet, worried if you spoke any more you'd cry again. Maybe Kihyun was right. Maybe the universe was telling you now, stay away, because every time you got close with Shownu something bad happened. Logically you understood this but it didn't stop the dull ache in your chest.

* * *

_ONE YEAR LATER_

"Baby, can you tie my tie for me?" Kihyun asked you, mock pouting and holding out the material for you to take. You laughed and reached for the tie and threaded it under his collar, around his neck.

"What would you do without me?" You teased, fingers deftly tying the knot for him.

"I don't even want to think about it." He smiled, sneaking a kiss on to your forehead.

"Done." You tightened the knot and tucked the tail of the tie into his shirt. When you had finished he took both your hands in his and wrapped them around his neck, pressing his lips to yours in a sultry kiss. "You look beautiful tonight." He murmured against your lips.

"Thank you Ki," You smiled. "You look handsome in a suit. Very mature."

"I'll show you mature," He smirked, hands running down your body and grabbing your ass. You squealed and pushed him away while he laughed.

"We need to leave soon." You pointed out as you crossed the room to put on your heels. Kihyun was taking you to a very nice restaurant tonight, celebrating six months of dating each other. It hadn't been an easy road for either of you to reach this point but for the first time in a long while you were happy. Kihyun had been there for you while you healed from your injury and been a shoulder to cry on. After one drunken hook up you realised that maybe a relationship could work between you two.

When you reached the restaurant Kihyun held the door open for you and you smiled at him as you walked through. The waiter showed you to your table and you sat opposite each other. The dim lighting in the room made it seem even more romantic. "I'm so happy." Kihyun grinned at you over the menu.

"Me too." You agreed.

He couldn't wipe the smile off his face, even the food arrived he was still beaming at you. It made your heart swell. You began to eat and as you took a bite of your lasagne your gaze naturally moved away from Kihyun. You dropped your fork in shock and it clattered loudly against the plate. A few nearby tables turned to look for the source of the noise but your eyes never wavered. There was Shownu, on the far side of the room, clad in an all black suit with a glass of whiskey in his hands.

"What was that for?" Kihyun laughed but his expression faltered when he saw your face. "Y/N?"

"Oh, sorry! Just clumsy." You forced a laugh that seemed to convince him. You tried to focus back on eating your meal but your body was practically aching to look at Shownu again. As you took a sip of wine you managed to sneak a look over at him. You choked on your wine when you saw he was looking straight at you. Immediately you turned away.

"Y/N do you even remember how to eat?" Kihyun mocked, looking between you and your glass.

"I told you; clumsy." You reminded him. You were trying to ignore how your heart was suddenly racing and the tremor that had now appeared in your hands.

"I want to do something for you," Kihyun said, brining you back to reality.

"Hmm?" You asked, forcing yourself to stay focused on him and only him.

"Let's go away together." He was looking at you so softly and with so much adoration you couldn't help but smile.

"Really?" You asked.

"Of course," He scoffed. "We've never been on a trip together."

"That sounds perfect, Ki." You said. The two of you continued to eat in comfortable silence. You successfully hadn't looked back at Shownu, at least you had some willpower. However, after two glasses of wine you needed the bathroom. You excused yourself from the table and stood up, though your stomach dropped when you realised the restrooms were close to where Shownu was seated.

As you made your way through the restaurant, heels clicking on the marble floor, you could almost feel his eyes on you. You knew you shouldn't but you couldn't stop yourself, eyes flicking over towards him. He _was_ watching you. You made eye contact but he didn't look away. Your breath felt trapped in your throat, it was like you suddenly couldn't breathe. You broke the staring contest and made a beeline for the bathroom.

After using the toilet you went to the mirror to wash your shaking hands. You were going to have walk past him again and you needed a moment to regroup. You opened the door and almost fell over in shock when you saw Shownu standing leaning against the wall opposite, one hand in his pocket. He looked so relaxed it almost made you angry. How could he be so calm?

You were frozen on the spot. A few seconds went by and you didn't move nor did he speak. Your brain suddenly kicked in to gear and you turned to walk away, scoring a few steps before his voice cut the tension.

"Y/N wait." Shownu said and you paused. You heard him take a few steps towards you and you slowly turned round. "You look well." He said.

You had no idea how to respond to that. He had not contacted you in a year and now he was standing before you after following you. It was all too much to take in. It had to be a dream. This couldn't be happening. "I have to go." You managed to choke out, turning to leave. He called for you again but you ignored it, walking faster.

You practically ran back to your table. You sat down and instantly Kihyun could tell you were flustered. "What's up with you?" He asked, looking you up and down.

You took a deep breath, deciding to the best thing to do would be telling the truth. "Shownu is here."

Kihyun's mouth fell open in shock. "Seriously? Where?"

Before you could reply your question was answered for you. Kihyun had spotted Shownu because he was walking towards your table. Your stomach dropped.

"Y/N can I speak with you?" Shownu asked, completely ignoring Kihyun.

"What the fuck," Kihyun said, standing now. Shownu's looked at him out of the corner of his eye for a second before his gaze was back on you, frozen in your seat. "You have some audacity."

"Be quiet, kid." Shownu said, still refusing to look at him. "Y/N? Can I?"

"Hey!" Kihyun pushed Shownu on the shoulder. "What did you just say?"

"Watch it." Shownu warned lowly.

You finally found your voice. "Stop making a scene, you two." You stood up now. "Fine, I'll talk with you." You sighed.

"Y/N," Kihyun hissed. "Seriously?"

"But not here, not now." You stated. Shownu nodded.

"Here," He reached in to his pocket and pulled out his wallet. He flipped it open and extracted a white card from it. He handed it to you. It was a business card with his phone number on it. "Call me." He looked at you for a moment, before turning to leave, not even giving Kihyun a second glance.

"Are you fucking _serious_ Y/N?" Kihyun whispered, angrily as you two slowly sat back down. There was still a meal to finish after all. "I can't believe you would do that, on today of all days."

"Kihyun," You sighed, reaching to grab his hand across the table. He reluctantly let you interlace your fingers with his. "I'm not going to call him. I just said that so he would leave."

He looked unhappy but he nodded. "Promise?" He asked.

"Promise."

"I haven't forgotten what he did, you know." He sighed.

"I know," You said gently. "I promise you, that will be the last time I ever see him."

Kihyun nodded and let go of your hand so the two of you could resume eating. Although you felt guilty doing it you slipped the card with Shownu's number on it into your purse.


	8. Love Lost

When you and Kihyun got in to bed that night his hands were all over you instantly. Part of you knew his desperation for your body tonight was due in part to the run in with Shownu. Kihyun knew how much you had liked Shownu and he felt like he had something to prove to you; prove how much better he was for you than anyone else, especially the older man.

He peeled you of your clothing, getting the both of you completely naked in seconds. "God, I want you so much." He murmured in the crook of your neck as he stroked between your legs. Your hips bucked underneath him at his touch, wanting more. "Tell me how much you want it." He whispered, kissing your neck, slipping his fingers inside you. "Tell me how much you want _me_."

He started curling his fingers inside you as he pumped them and you moaned. "I want _you_," You moaned. "I want you inside of me."

"Yeah you do," He murmured. "Look at you, clinging to my fingers. You're so desperate." He pulled away now to look at your face, wanting to see just how good he was making you feel. You were getting close, squeezing around his fingers. You'd been sleeping together so long now he knew your body well.

"Kihyun," You breathed, gripping his wrist. "Fuck me now."

He smirked and withdrew his hand. "I like it when you're like this. Needy. For me."

It wasn't long before he was inside you, rocking his hips in to yours, kissing every part of your body he could reach. "Kihyun," You moaned.

"Yeah, that's me." He panted. "_Kihyun_." He repeated. His dick was rock hard inside of you and you knew he was close. He definitely was eager tonight. "Baby you need to come for me, ok?" He said, pulling one of your legs up and on to his shoulder. His thumb went to your clit and that was all it took for you to fall apart. You made sure and moaned his name when you climaxed, wanting to give him that extra bit of reassurance. He followed soon after, coming deep inside you.

"Come here," You whispered, pulling him to your chest. He was still inside you as you wrapped your arms around him. "You're amazing, Kihyun." You told him, pecking him on the lips. He sighed in content and pulled out of you, rolling to the side. You made a move to get out of bed and clean up, already feeling his cum start to leak out of you but he grabbed you by the waist and pulled you back to him. "Ki! I'm messy!" You whined.

"Don't care." He mumbled in to your skin, kissing you on the back of your shoulder. "Just wanna be with you."

"We'll need to change the sheets," You warned but relaxed into him as he circled his arms around your waist. He hummed in amusement as he buried his face in your neck. It wasn't long until you felt him fall asleep, his breaths coming slow and steady now. You, however, were wide awake. The nights events replaying in your mind.

You had never thought you would see Shownu again and it had knocked you. It was odd how just seeing him took you right back to when you were together. It was as if these months of hard work to get him out of your mind were all for nothing. How can one person have such a strong effect on you, even after all this time? Would it always be like this?

You decided you better actually go and clean up. Prying yourself carefully from Kihyun's arms, so as not to wake him, you slipped out of bed. You went to the ensuite and cleaned up, returning to the bedroom to slip on something to wear, opting for a pair of Kihyun's shorts and a shirt. You grabbed your phone and headed to the kitchen, maybe some tea would help you relax.

While the water was boiling you checked your phone and replied to a few messages. You thought about the card Shownu gave you. You wanted to have another look at it, so you got your purse and took it out again. His profession on the card said 'Private Security' and you wondered how true exactly it was.

You stared at the telephone number underneath his name. It was tempting you. You felt guilty even considering calling him, after explicitly promising Kihyun you wouldn't.

On one hand though, it would be that final piece of closure that you needed. Something to wrap this whole chapter of your life up in a neat little bow, once and for all. There were _so_ many unanswered questions that still lingered. This would be your opportunity. One phone call. Just one. After that, you would be done. Kihyun didn't need to know. This was for you. Speaking to an ex is not cheating.

You reached for your phone and dialled the number but you hesitated to actually press call. Maybe this wasn't a good idea. Maybe it was best to let sleeping dogs lie. You went to clear the number but as your fingers pressed in to the touch screen you accidentally hit 'call' and the phone automatically dialled the number.

"Shit, shit, shit," You hissed, quickly cancelling the call. It was too late. Shownu's number had already rang once before you could cancel it. "Fuck." You groaned staring at the screen. You couldn't believe that just happened, cursing your clumsiness.

You placed the phone back down on the counter and finished making the cup of tea you had started, now that the water had boiled. Sitting down at the dining table you sipped it, savouring the taste. This was what you needed, not some unexpected dive in to the past. Suddenly, your phone rang. Your stomach knotted with anxiety as you peered over at it. It was the number you had just accidentally dialled. It was Shownu.

Quickly placing your tea down you grabbed your phone and rushed through the living room and out on to the small balcony that joined your building. You didn't want Kihyun to accidentally eavesdrop.

"Hello?" You said cautiously as you answered.

"Y/N?" Came Shownu's calming deep voice down the line. "I thought that might be you."

"You did? Why?" You asked, confused. How on earth would he know? You'd changed phone numbers at least once since he had your details.

"You are the only person I gave my number to tonight." He chuckled.

"Oh..." You went quiet, unsure of what to follow with. There was so much you wanted to say but you couldn't bring yourself to go there yet.

"It's late. Why are you still awake?" He asked, attempting to break the tension.

"I couldn't sleep." You admitted. "What's your excuse?"

"Same as yours." Neither of you said anything for a few moments. It wasn't awkward or uncomfortable but the tension definitely hung in the air. "I'm glad you called." He spoke, breaking the silence.

"Why?" You blurted out without thinking.

"After everything that happened..." He trailed off, searching for the right words. "There's just so much I wanted to tell you, and to apologise for." He let out a deep breath and if you didn't know any better you would have thought he was nervous. This intimidating, strong, criminal was nervous. You almost wanted to laugh.

"Shownu," You started but your breath hitched in your throat. You could feel yourself starting to get emotional, that icy feeling beginning to rise in your chest. You couldn't cry. You wouldn't.

"Y/N?" He prompted.

"Why didn't you get in touch sooner?" You said in a strained voice, trying to keep your emotions at bay. That was the one question that plagued you the most over the months. It had forced you to assume he just did not care about you whatsoever.

"I couldn't." He answered vaguely. You remained silent. What was that supposed to mean. "Y/N can we meet?"

You bit your lip. That was _certainly_ not a good idea. "Why can't you just answer my question?" You asked, avoiding his.

"It's not that simple.....but I want to explain everything to you in person. You deserve that, at least." He sighed.

You were torn between your desire for answers and your loyalty to your boyfriend. You worried if you didn't get the information you wanted now you might never get it. Stomach knotting with guilt, you spoke.

"Ok," You whispered. "I'll agree to see you."

* * *

The look on Kihyun's face when you had lied to him was gnawing at you as you sat waiting for Shownu. Your amazing boyfriend had smiled and nodded, kissing you sweetly as he wished you a good evening. Your cover story for tonight was that you were meeting a girl friend, someone that Kihyun knew but didn't know well so as not to risk him asking too many questions. You were a terrible liar and you didn't want to invite any suspicion.

You felt Shownu before you saw him, his presence was magnetic. His eyes never left yours as he made his way through the bar to the booth where you sat waiting. Even in this dimly lit dive bar he was captivating. "Y/N." He said softly as he reached the table. "May I?" He asked, gesturing to the seat next to you. You nodded and watched as he sat down. "How are you?"

"Anxious," You admitted truthfully, giving Shownu a little smile. "But otherwise fine."

"Thanks for not standing me up." He returned your smile. "Can I buy you a drink?"

"Sure."

You told him your order and he headed to the bar and it was only a few short minutes later he was returning with your drink. "I don't really know where to start." He confessed, scratching the back of his neck somewhat awkwardly.

"I have an idea." You said quietly. His eyes went to yours and you felt your stomach flip. Why did that always happen when he looked at you? "Tell me why you dumped me at the hospital then left."

If your words affected him he didn't show it. Instead he swallowed and took a deep breath. "It might sound unbelievable." He began. "But it's the truth. I just want you to remember that although I'm not perfect...I've never lied to you, Y/N."

He wasn't wrong. That had been one consistent with Shownu for the entire time you knew him. He was always honest with you. "I know." You said softly. "I always respected you for that."

He nodded. "I left you at the hospital like that so Jooheon would think you were dead." He said bluntly. You froze for a moment. He wasn't joking when he said it sounded unbelievable.

"..How?" You began but he cut you off.

"I told him you were dead. I let him believe I never got to you in time." Shownu said, somewhat sadly. Although you had survived your attack in a way it was like you were dead to him, regardless. The thought tugged at your heartstrings. "If I had stayed at the hospital like I wanted to he would know I was lying. Then you would be in danger again. I had to break the cycle somehow."

"But Jooheon isn't stupid," You wondered aloud. "He wouldn't just take your word for it, surely?"

Shownu nodded in agreement. "You're right. And he didn't. Not at first."

"How did you convince him?" You asked hesitantly, unsure if you really wanted to know the answer to that question.

"I paid off a Doctor at the hospital. He confirmed your 'death' to Jooheon and even drew up a false autopsy report for me. Luckily, that was enough to convince him."

You were stunned in to silence. Out of all the things you had anticipated from this meeting, finding out Shownu had faked your death to save you was certainly not one of them. "I don't know what to say," You admitted after a few moments. Shownu was patient and waited, letting you digest the information.

"You don't have to say anything. I just wanted you to know I didn't abandon you for no reason." He said quietly. Your mouth suddenly felt unbearably dry and you took a rather large sip of the alcohol in the glass before you.

"I tried to get in contact after I got out of hospital." You confessed. You needed him to know that you didn't just give up easily on him. "Your number was disconnected."

"Unfortunately it had to be done," He sighed. "I couldn't have you contacting me and risk Jooheon finding you. I'm so sorry if you thought I'd ghosted you."

"I understand...now. At the time, it was a different story." You admitted. Shownu looked guilty. "Are you sure it's safe to talk to me now?" You asked.

"It's safe." He said cryptically. You cocked an eyebrow. "Jooheon is dead."

Your mouth fell open in a silent gasp. Another revelation you were _not_ expecting. "Did you..?" You began but once again you were cut off.

"Not me. Someone else." He said, almost business like. You were almost relieved at the fact that Shownu hadn't murdered Jooheon. "Deserved it, though."

"I see." You said after a beat. "If we hadn't crossed paths in that restaurant, would you have tried to find me?" You couldn't stop the words from slipping between your lips. It was something you thought about often.

"Y/N," He said softly. "Do you know how much self restraint it took _not_ to come after you? Every single day I thought about it...but I had to keep reminding myself I did this _for_ you."

"This whole time I just thought you didn't care." You said, giving him a sad smile. The past was written and there was nothing you could do to change that.

"I did care. I _do_ care." He admitted.

"Well your plan worked, I'm alive." You half joked, trying to lighten the atmosphere slightly.

"You seem like you are doing well." He replied. "You and Kihyun are...?"

He didn't finish the sentence but he didn't need to. You knew exactly what he was implying. "Yeah." You said quietly.

"Lucky man." Shownu simply stated, taking a sip of his own drink.

"Are you....are you with anyone?" You curiosity got the better of you. He shook his head.

"I told you before, I don't do relationships. My life is too messy to drag someone down with me."

"Ah, how could I forget." You said playfully. You noticed his empty glass. "Another round?" You asked and he nodded, giving you a smile.

* * *

You ambled next to Shownu as the two of you made your way through the dark streets, cold air nipping at your cheeks. It was freezing but you didn't want to go inside just yet. You didn't want the night to be over already, because as soon as it was it meant that Shownu would disappear from your life once more.

"You live here?" Shownu asked, gesturing to the building behind you. "Wow, nice." He complimented.

"Thanks," You mumbled. "Kihyun found it, not me. He's good like that."

"You live together?" Shownu hummed and you nodded, blushing slightly. "Things are more serious than I thought." He smirked and you rolled your eyes at his teasing. "As long as you're happy..."

"I am." You assured him. It was the truth, regardless of how complicated your history with Shownu was. You looked at him in the moonlight and wondered if he didn't want you to leave either. "I should go in."

"Can I see you again?" He asked quickly, taking you by surprise. "As friends?" He clarified.

You bit your lip, hesitant. God, did you want to see him again. But you knew it was wrong. However even that thought was not enough to stop you. "Ok." You smiled. "As friends."

"Friends." He repeated, eyes searching yours. "Goodnight, Y/N. I'll call you soon." And with that he leaned in, pressing a chaste kiss to your cheek. As he walked away you swore it felt like his lips had burned you.

* * *

Nearly two weeks had passed before you heard from Shownu again. Your guilt at meeting with him slowly faded as the days went by, it was almost has if it had never even happened, which was why when your phone buzzed with an unknown number you froze. Immediately you recognised the last three digits as _his_. "Are you not going to answer that?" Kihyun asked, breaking through your thoughts.

"No," You practically whispered. "It's a strange number. They can leave a voicemail." You could barely hear yourself over the thudding in your chest, heart beating wildly. Your nerves only increased when you recognised the familiar text tone and you snatched your phone quickly, so as to avoid Kihyun seeing anything.

_Unknown number: are you free tomorrow?_

The words popped up on screen and your stomach lurched. You quickly typed your reply before deleting the message.

_y/n: yeah. what time?_

You stuffed your phone into your pocket and turned to Kihyun, giving him what you hoped was a relaxed smile. You should have known the second Shownu slipped you his business card that you would be powerless to stop this. You've always been drawn to him, it was useless trying to fight it.

* * *

"So, how legit is this Private Security thing then?" You asked Shownu as the two of you sat in the same dive bar you had met at previously. He laughed at your question.

"100% legit." He smiled. "I'm a changed man, Y/N."

You raised your eyebrows at him. "Is that so?" You asked, dubiously.

"That _is_ so. I'm retired from all....that now." His words definitely surprised you. You didn't think people gave up on that kind of work ever, especially when there was so much money involved. "I only did it to set up a life for myself." He admitted.

"And what kind of life is that?" You inquired.

"A happy one." He replied, as usual not giving away too much detail.

"I have another question for you." You asked, changing the subject. Shownu merely nodding, holding your gaze as he took a sip of his liquor. "What happened to Wonho?"

"Ah," Shownu sighed. "He is still alive, unfortunately."

"When I saw him last he had an eye patch." You stated, mind going back to what was easily the worst day of your life. You remembered noting the change in Wonho's appearance and couldn't help but wonder if it was Shownu's doing.

"I had to make him pay for what he did to you." Shownu said avoiding your face, looking down in to his glass as he swirled the liquid around. "I told you I would."

"I can't believe you would risk your life like that for me." You said quietly. He shrugged.

"I'm just sorry you ever had to experience that part of my life. It's a big regret for me."

"Don't beat yourself up too much, it's done now. Everything worked out fine." You said reassuringly. The sad look on his face was making your heart squeeze in your chest and you wanted nothing more than to see him smile again.

He forced a smile. "You know, it would have been nice to see where our relationship went. If none of that stuff ever happened." He added after a moment. Your heart rate immediately began to speed up. This was forbidden territory. _Your relationship_. The entire time you had spent since you reconnected with Shownu he hadn't brought up your romantic history together and you hadn't asked, choosing to skirt around the topic.

"Yes," You agreed, voice suddenly coming out like a whisper. "That would have been nice."

"I'd never been in love before." He said. Your stomach dropped. _Love?_

"You were in...love? With me?" You realised the question sounded ridiculous but you couldn't help but ask it.

"Wasn't it obvious?" He asked, a slight smirk tugging at his lips. "I should have said something, huh?"

"That would have helped." You couldn't help but let out a tiny laugh. "For what it's worth...I think I felt the same." You admitted.

"It's too bad you didn't meet me _now_." He said, leaning in almost dangerously close to you. Your breath felt trapped in your throat. "It's even worse that you're with someone too."

"Shownu," You whispered. It almost sounded like you were begging him. Maybe on some level you were.

"I never stopped thinking about you, Y/N." He said, eyes searching yours, almost asking for permission. How stupid were you to think you could ever be just friends him? "Never."

You don't know who closed the gap first, but the next thing you knew your lips had connected, his hand reaching across to cup the side of your face. Somewhere in your mind the logical part of your brain was screaming _this is wrong_ but that didn't stop you. The only thing you were focusing on was how good his lips felt on yours, while the boyfriend who had saved you in more ways then one became an after thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm pretty sure the next chapter will be the last one :'(


	9. Endings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was originally supposed to be one chapter but it was too long so I've split it into this and an epilogue which will be posted shortly! Thanks for being so patient for this overdue update!

You had practically ran away from Shownu after your brief kiss, shoving him off you and leaving the bar like a whirlwind, ignoring his shouts of your name. You had to get away before anything worse happened, unable to trust yourself around him.

The combination of the cold night air and your guilt induced anxiety were making you shiver as you stormed down the street, looking for a cab. It was a relief when you finally found one and hopped in to go home. Back to Kihyun.

Your stomach was in knots as you walked the hallway to your apartment. Was it always this long? It felt like an eternity. You took a deep breath as you turned the handle and unlocked the door.

Part of you was worried Kihyun somehow knew you were guilty, even though that was impossible. Your hands were shaking as you set down your handbag and took off your coat. You needed to pull yourself together.

“Baby, you’re home early!” Kihyun called to you from somewhere in the apartment. It sounded as if he was in the living room. You slipped your heels off and made your way to him. “Hey,” He said, giving you a warm smile when he saw you. “Good night?”

“Not really.” You answered quietly as you sat down next to him.

Instinctively he pulled you into his arms and sighed in to your neck as he held you. You noticed he had put the book he was reading down as soon as you came in so he could focus all his attention on you. The thought made you feel even worse. 

“I’m sorry you didn’t have fun.” He said nuzzling his face in to you. “Although I’m glad you’re back.” You could feel the smile against your skin. 

You felt nauseous. The loving embrace of your boyfriend, the one person who had stuck by your side through the hardest times in your life, left you feeling undeserving. Essentially you had just cheated on him. 

You had to do the right thing. As bad as it might be, if it was the other way around you’d want to know. No question about it. 

“Kihyun?” You said cautiously. Your heart began to pound, blood thumping in your ears. 

“Mmhm?” He hummed, planting a kiss against your neck, squeezing you closer to him. You needed to stop him before this went any further. 

“I need to tell you something.” You said, prying his arms off of you and sitting up straight. He looked confused at your rejection, a tiny flash of hurt streaked across his delicate face. 

“What’s going on?” He asked, fear flickering in his eyes. Your stomach lurched as you turned to face him, a considerable distance now between you. 

“I lied to you.” You began. He frowned. “I went to see Shownu tonight.”

“What?” His voice was barely above a whisper. 

“And,” You took a deep breath, willing yourself to tell the truth. “This wasn’t the first time I’ve seen him either.”

Kihyun seemed frozen, his beautiful face looked pained. “You’re cheating on me?” 

“No!” You almost shouted, startling him. He jumped slightly. “No of course not. But something happened.”

His face changed again, something dark and ugly took over, his jealously flaring up. “Did you fuck him?” He muttered darkly. 

“You know I wouldn’t do that.” You said gently. Kihyun scoffed mockingly, rolling his eyes as if to say yeah right. “He kissed me.”

“And you really expect me to believe you didn’t fuck him? Please.”

“Kihyun I’m telling you the truth. I promise.” 

“What is this sick hold he has on you y/n?” He sighed, running a hand through his hair. “I thought this would have gone away after we started dating.” You suspected he was talking to himself as well as you. “And now you’ve gone back to him again.”

“I haven’t ‘gone back to him’. I wouldn’t be here now if that was the case. Ki I literally ran away when he kissed me.”

Kihyun huffed out a puff of air. “Sure.”

“Im telling the truth!” 

“You told me you would never see him again. At the restaurant. That’s what you said.” Kihyun pointed out. 

You chewed on your bottom lip, knowing he was completely correct but having no comeback for him. “I’m sorry.” Was the best you could come up with. 

“This is never going to end is it? You’re always going to wish I was him.”

“I don’t wish you were him!”

“Bullshit. Why else would you be meeting in secret?” 

“You know exactly what trauma I’ve been through. Can you not understand that in order to completely heal I might need some answers?” You reminded him in a small voice. 

“I thought things were good now! You don’t need him!” Kihyun cried, raising his voice. 

“They _are_,” You stressed. “But Shownu told me the whole story and Kihyun, I can’t tell you how much lighter I feel knowing why what happened to me did.”

He was quiet for a few moments and it made you nervous. It felt like hours even though it was less than sixty seconds. He stared intently at you, eyes searching yours. 

“If all you wanted was answers... Why did you meet him more than once?” He asked, voice low and angry. 

A valid point. 

You closed your eyes for a moment, collecting your thoughts. “Honestly? I liked his company.” You said quietly, as if it would make the blow to your boyfriend any less harsh. 

“And if he hadn’t kissed you would you have told me about it?”

“I don’t know.” You answered truthfully. 

“Fucking great.” He said through gritted teeth, standing up. “I need to be alone. Maybe you should stay out here for a bit.”

He stormed down the hall to your shared bedroom. You winced as the door slammed so hard the frame shook. You definitely had some grovelling to do. 

* * *

  
Over the next few days your relationship with Kihyun worsened. It was hard. He had professed to forgiving your slight infidelity after a lot of apologies and reassurances on your part. However his actions didn’t match his words. 

He was often cold towards you. The time you spent together was usually filled with one word answers, stony silences and a million questions any time you went anywhere alone. It was taxing but you were trying your best to endure. He was taking it out on you and you deserved it. 

He definitely was less affectionate. Before he’d have his hands all over you constantly, so it was a strange, stark contrast. You’d had sex once since you confessed about Shownu to him but it wasn’t the same. He was rough, manhandling you like a toy. Something he never did before. It made you feel used, like he didn’t care anymore. Part of you worried he didn’t. 

Kihyun had endured so much from you. It was a miracle he was still here. So you vowed to stick by him too, as long as he’d have you. 

“You’re late.” 

Your keys jingled as you locked the door behind you. Work had been busy so you were late coming home, something Kihyun was used to. You walked through to the living room where he sat, hard gaze trained on the television in front of him. 

He didn’t even look at you when you walked in. 

“Yeah, I’m sorry. Work was really busy. We had a hen party in tonight and they –“

“Why didn’t you text me?” He cut off your slightly nervous ramblings. This is what you were worried you would come home to. An angry, jealous boyfriend. 

“I was busy, I’m sorry.” You replied, still frozen in the doorway. He sighed. You walked over to the back of the couch and leaned down, kissing his cheek. “I didn’t mean to make you worry.”

He finally turned up to you and kissed you on the lips. You cupped the sides of his face and kissed him back as fiercely as you could. “Come sit with me.” He said pulling away.   
You walked round the back of the couch and sank into the cushion next to him. He pulled you in close and you relaxed, the most normal you’ve felt with him since you argued.

“What are you watching?”

“Nothing really.”

You just hummed in response, craning your neck to kiss him. He leaned down to meet your lips and you kissed for a few moments. You deepened the kiss, licking into his mouth with your tongue as your hands started to roam. 

“Touch me,” You whispered breathlessly, guiding his hands down your body over your breasts as you went back to kissing him passionately. 

“Hmm, why are you so eager?” He murmured as you turned in his arms so you were straddling him, arms hooking around his neck. 

“I just missed you.” You said as you kissed down his jaw, rutting your hips against his lap. You noticed the lack of his erection but you didn’t let that deter you. 

“Did you? You sure?” He said quietly, hands on your hips, watching you curiously as you moved on top of him. “You sure you weren’t with Shownu? Did he get you all worked up and now you’ve come to me to finish the job?”

“W-what? Kihyun, no.” You were taken aback, shocked. You pulled away to look at his face. It wasn’t happy. He looked like thunder, eyes dark and narrowed.

“How do I know you’re not lying?” Kihyun words stung and you shrank back away from him, wounded. 

“I’m not.”

“I don’t believe you. Look how desperate you are. The only person that gets you like this is him.” He shoved you off his lap and stood up. You were immobilised on the couch, mouth agape. “I’m going for a shower.” 

He walked away leaving you feeling desperate, foolish and most of all; unwanted. 

* * *

  
Your phone chimed and you knew who it was without even looking. You peered at the screen and lo and behold the unknown number words flashed on the screen. It was Shownu. 

He had texted you several times since your last disastrous encounter. Mostly it was apologies and him asking if you were OK. You didn’t reply to any of them.

**unknown number: 2.30pm**  
I’m sorry if I caused you any issues. I assume that’s why you’re not talking to me. Stay safe y/n 

You sighed as you deleted the message. He was making it harder and harder to ignore him. You had to be strong, for Kihyun and your relationship. 

* * *

The situation did not improve. 

The stand off-ish attitude you were receiving from Kihyun remained. It didn’t matter how much you tried to talk it out or shower him with affection he wasn’t budging. He was nothing if not strong willed. 

You were sitting next to him on the sofa, awkwardly huddled next to him desperate for affection while both his hands remained firmly on his lap; away from you. It hurt but you took it in stride. 

The TV was on but you weren’t really paying attention, as you had a newfound inability to relax in his presence. You were walking on eggshells. The last thing you wanted to do was upset him. So you were compliant. 

You weren’t working that day. You had spent the entire day with Kihyun at the apartment, albeit with his frosty attitude. He had no reason to suspect you of anything, so you got bold. 

“Ki,” You sighed, nuzzling into his shoulder. “I like it when you let me be close to you like this.”

He looked at you his expression unreadable. His hands remained on his lap. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.” You grabbed his hand, interlocking his fingers with your own. He reluctantly let you with a sigh. “I wish things could go back to the way they were.” You said quietly, almost as if you didn’t want him to hear it. 

“I’m _trying_.” He said, a little bit too harshly for your liking. 

“I know, I know.” You said soothingly, rubbing your thumb on his hand to reassure him. He relaxed a little. “Take as long as you need.”

“I just can’t stop picturing you with him.” Kihyun sighed, pulling his hand out of your grasp. Your palm lay empty on his lap and your chest bubbled with hurt. “It’s not a nice image.”

“I would take it back if I could.”

He gave you a somewhat forced smile that never reached his eyes. “I know.”

* * *

You were on the day shift this week, a shift pattern you liked because it meant no late nights even if it did mean getting up early. Even though it had been a long time since Wonho had attacked you working late still made you uneasy. You pushed the thought away as you drove to work, determined to have a nice day. 

As you sat in traffic fiddling with the radio you glanced in the rear view mirror to check the car behind you was keeping their distance. Almost the entire journey they had been driving obnoxiously close, keeping you on high alert so as to avoid an accident.

“Asshole.” You muttered out loud to yourself, rolling your eyes at the tinted windows of the vehicle, assuming it was some rich entitled old man who thought the road was his and his alone. You couldn’t see who was inside but you knew by the make and model of the car exactly the type that would drive it. 

After a few more turns you noticed the black SUV was still hot on your tail and alarm bells started to ring in your head. It was deliberate now. They were following you.   
Shownu had once told you a way to check if someone was definitely following you. You made three left turns in a row, taking you in almost a complete circle. The SUV did too.

Your heart rate started to increase. 

Unsure of what to do next, you headed to work thinking you’d call Kihyun as soon as you were safe inside the building but as you parked in your regular spot, the black car was no where to be seen. 

* * *

“Excuse me Miss, are you the manager?”

You looked up from behind the bar as you put away a bottle of liquor, eyes landing on a handsome dark haired man. His hair was black and he flicked his head when some of it fell in his eye, revealing an eyebrow piercing. 

“Uh, yes sir. That’s me. Can I help you with something?” You asked politely. 

“I just wanted to compliment you on the amazing service I received from your staff today.” The stranger said taking you by surprise. It wasn’t unusual that customers praised your team but it was always nice when it happened. 

“Thank you sir.” You gave him a polite smile. 

“Much better than your old team at the place you worked at before. Was it last year you were at that bar, Smoking Goat?”

You froze for a minute, taken aback by this man’s familiarity with you, having got the name of the bar you worked at when you were attacked exactly correct. 

“I’m sorry, do we know each other?” You asked somewhat strained, trying to maintain some professionalism composure. 

“Although, the second place you worked at – The Box, right? That was much better service.” He continued, completely ignoring your question, smiling a little. His face made you uneasy, flashbacks of Wonho’s smirking face in your mind. 

“I’m sorry sir but I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You lied. 

The man smiled and winked at you. He flicked his hair out of his face once more, stuffing his hands into the pockets of his bomber jacket. “Anyway,” He sighed turning as if to leave. “Just thought I’d compliment the boss on her amazing work. See you later y/n.”  
He didn’t give you a chance to reply, leaving you bewildered and anxious as he walked away. 

* * *

You kept a careful eye out for the black SUV as you drove home that evening but it was nowhere to be seen. Even as you entered your home you felt as if it was there, lurking in the shadows watching you from afar. 

As you got into bed that night you decided to tell Kihyun about your unusual day. You’d debated not telling him at all, fearing you were just being paranoid but it had been on your mind constantly and you just wanted another opinion. 

“Something strange happened today.” You said as you folded down the duvet covet and slipped inside. “I think someone was following me.”

“Following you?” Kihyun questioned with a frown. 

“Yeah. On the way to work this black SUV was tailgating me. I even made a few wrong turns but they followed. It was weird.”

“They might just have been going the same direction as you.”

“Maybe,” You sighed, suddenly feeling a little irrational. “There was this strange customer though. He knew my name and all the places I’ve worked before.”

“Another guy for me to worry about?” Kihyun muttered darkly. You pointedly ignored the comment. 

“It was really unsettling, Ki. It reminded me of all the shit that happened y’know, before.” You trailed off, reluctant to even say the word ‘Shownu’ in front of Kihyun now. 

“You think it’s something to worry about?”

“I don’t know.”

Kihyun was silent for a while, lost in thought. You used this opportunity to shimmy close to him, placing a head on his chest as he lay flat on his back. You played with the hem of his t-shirt absent mindedly, listening to his heartbeat, just glad that he was letting you close again. Nearly ten minutes passed before he spoke again. 

“This seems like an awfully big coincidence that this is happening now, y/n.”

“Hmm?” You raised your head to look at his face but his vision was trained on the ceiling, expression hard. 

“Shownu comes back and all of a sudden this happens? Its weird, no?”

It was an idea you were trying not to entertain, a large part of you in denial because there was no way you wanted it to be true. It meant that something bad could potentially happen again and you didn’t think you could survive that.

“Maybe.” You said but your voice sounded small and distant. “I don’t speak to him anymore though so maybe not.”

You leaned up to plant a kiss on Kihyun’s lips but he was barely responsive. Eventually when he realised you weren’t giving up he kissed you back, hands sliding to your hips. He sighed when you pulled away. 

“I hate him.” He said quietly and once again he pushed you off on to the bed next to him. “He’s ruining your life and you don’t even see it.”

He turned over without another word, back to you as he went to sleep, meanwhile you tried your best not to cry. 

* * *

After the third time you were followed – this time while grocery shopping – you knew it was serious. 

It wasn’t always the same car either, which made you wonder if multiple people were watching you. It left you feeling shaky and anxious everytime you were alone in public. Often you found yourself almost wishing Shownu was there. You had always felt safe around him. 

“It happened again today.” You told Kihyun as made yourself dinner that night, trying to ignore how hurt you were that he’d taken to eating with out you. That used to be one of your favourite parts of the day, coming home to spend time and eat together. “This time it was the blue BMW.”

“Why don’t you go crying to Shownu.” He muttered under his breath. “Super Shownu can save the day after fucking wrecking it in the first place.”

You put down the knife you were chopping with and lwt out a deep breath and closing your eyes. “Please stop.”

“Stop what? I’m not doing anything.”

“Stop being like this. I can’t take it anymore.” You had tears in your eyes but you blinked them away. With everything that had been going on during the week you were left feeling emotional and vulnerable. 

“This is his fault!” Kihyun shouted. 

“Maybe but you don’t have to take it out on me!” You’d had enough, weeks of rude comments and rejection from your boyfriend and you couldn’t take it anymore. “Either forgive me or not for what I did, but don’t say you have when you clearly fucking haven’t!”

You were crying now and you tried to hide your face from Kihyun, quickly wiping at your face. 

“You know why I’m having such a hard time?” He asked. You turned to face him, shaking your head no. “Because I know you’ll do it again, given the chance.”

“Maybe it’s an option now since you reject me at every chance.” It was a low blow and you knew it but you couldn’t stop. “Everytime I go to kiss you, you pull away. I basically have to beg for your affection Kihyun and I hate it. It makes me feel so unwanted.”

He didn’t say anything, he simply just stood there looking defeated. You turned the stove off and snatched your jacket from the chair where it sat and shoved it on.   
“What are you doing?” He asked as you stormed out the kitchen and to your shared bedroom where you grabbed an overnight back. “Y/n, why are you packing?” There was fear in his voice now as he watched you haphazardly stuff clothes in the bag. 

You said nothing, not even daring to look at him. 

When you were finished you finally looked at him to see he was blocking the doorway. “Please move.” 

“No. I don’t want you to leave.”

“You don’t want me and now you don’t want me to leave.”

“I do want you.”

“You don’t show it. Now please, move out of my way.” You tried to move past him but he wouldn’t let you. “Kihyun.”

“Where are you going?”

“I just need some space. I’m sick of feeling like everything I do is wrong. Please. Just give me a few days.”

He sighed and moved out the way, allowing you to leave. He looked like he wanted to stop you as you left but he didn’t. 

“Don’t run to him y/n,” He said sadly. “Please.”

You said nothing as you left the apartment, feeling like he’d never get over what you did. 

* * *

You ended up checking into a hotel, unwilling to burden any of your friends for a few days. By the time you finally got in to bed and relaxed it was almost midnight. The entire time you were on edge, worried someone was following you again. You knew Kihyun would be angry at you for it but you decided to phone Shownu. 

He answered after two rings. “Y/N?” 

“I’m really sorry to do this.”

“Whats going on?” He sounded worried. 

“Someone has been following me recently. I don’t know what to do. I think it might have something to do with you.” You blurted. He inhaled sharply. 

“Shit.”

“Big black SUV and some BMW. Its getting worse too.”

“Right. Okay. Where are you now? Are they there?” 

“No. But it happened earlier today.” You took a deep breath. “I’m in a hotel. I, uh had a, I had a fight at...home so - ”

He interrupted you. “You don’t have to explain.” He said gently. 

“There was a strange guy at work too. Short guy with an eyebrow piercing. He knew a suspicious amount about me. He really freaked me out Shownu.” You admitted. 

“Eyebrow piercing?” 

“Yeah. Black hair, a little taller than me but not much. Do you know him?” You asked, feeling slightly worried at his tone. 

“That description reminds me of someone that used to work for Jooheon.” Shownu paused as your heart thundered in your chest. “I don’t know why he would be tailing you or trying to intimidate you though.”

“I don’t care about the ‘why’ I just want it to stop.” You sighed, feeling defeated. 

“I’ll take care of it, y/n.” Shownu replied quietly. You felt a wave of guilt for somehow invoking trouble again in his life. It seemed as if your presence alone was enough to do so.

“What’s the address of your hotel?”

You told him and he made a note of it, promising to keep an eye out for anyone that might have followed you. 

* * *

There were two sharp raps against your hotel room door and instantly you knew it was. You reluctantly opened the door, revealing a concerned looking Shownu leaning against the door frame. His brow was furrowed. 

“Your car was broken in to.” He stated bluntly. 

You froze mid-greeting. “Seriously?”

He nodded solemnly. “I passed by it in the car park. Window was smashed.”

“What is going on?” You mumbled helplessly as Shownu followed you inside, closing the door behind him. You sat down on the edge of the bed whilst he leaned against the dressing table, arms folded across his chest. 

“How long have you been here?”

You looked at the clock on the nightstand. It was 1am. “About two hours.”

“That’s all?” He asked and you nodded. “It’s likely you were followed here too then.”

You chewed on your bottom lip anxiously. An insidious thought occurred to you. “Could it be Wonho?”

Shownu looked at you for a few moments as if he was unsure how to answer. He sighed. “I don’t want to lie to you, he might be the one behind this.”

“He probably thinks we are dating again.”

Shownu nodded in agreement. “I seriously regret not getting rid of him when I had the chance.” He muttered. You recalled how maimed Wonho looked the last time you crossed paths with him. 

“So what now?” 

“We check what’s been taken from your car and I need to make a phone call.” 

* * *

When you laid eyes on the smashed passenger window of your car your stomach dropped. You felt violated. You almost didn’t want to touch your vehicle but you knew you had to. Shownu excused himself and you watched him walk to the opposite end of the carpark, phone to his ear. 

As you rummaged through the glove box you took a peek at Shownu, he looked dangerous in his worn out leather jacket and black jeans. Every bit gang member. 

Turning your attention back to your car you realised some money was missing and your spare set of house keys. A streak of panic shot through you thinking of someone entering your home and potentially hurting Kihyun. 

A few moments later, Shownu returned looking grim as he slipped his phone in to the breast pocket of his jacket. 

“My house keys are missing.” You said as you locked eyes. “And some money but not much.”

“Okay.”

“Who did you call?” 

“A contact that can arrange a meeting with Wonho. He was a little surprised given I haven’t spoken to him in a year but he will sort something out. This has to end, once and for all.” He replied looking remorseful. 

“Why does that sound so ominous?” You said quietly.

He didn’t reply to your comment. “Let me take your car, I’ve got a secure garage at my house I can park it there. You can’t leave it here.”

“Alright. Thank you.” 

“You should be safe here for tonight. If Wonho was going to do something he would have done it already.”

“I remember how impulsive he was.” You replied. Shownu nodded. 

“He’s probably just trying to scare you as a warning for me.” He sighed as you handed him your car keys. He opened the driver door and slipped into the seat. “Get some rest y/n. And stay in touch ok?”

You thanked him again and moved away, watching him drive off into the distance. 

* * *

  
Shownu returned your car the next morning. To your surprise the broken window was repaired, looking good as new. He tossed you the keys as he walked around to the passenger side and got in. 

“How did you get a garage to fix my window so fast?” You asked as you slid into the drivers seat and clicked your seat belt on. 

“I didn’t.” He stated simply. “I fixed it myself.”

You raised an eyebrow at him. “As usual, your full of surprises.” You teased. He smirked a little. “So where am I taking you?”

As a thank you for returning your car to you, you agreed to drop Shownu off wherever he wanted. You weren’t working today so you had the time to do so. You pulled out of the hotel carpark and he began to give you directions as you drove. 

“Are you going back to the hotel?” He asked after a few moments if comfortable silence. 

“No, I checked out. Should probably go home.” You mumbled, mind drifting to the multiple texts and calls sitting unanswered on your phone. 

“I see. Take a right up here. My house is at the end of this street.”

“You live here?!” You exclaimed as you peered at the trendy mansions on either side of the road. Almost every single one had a driveway with flashy cars parked in them. “This is such a nice area.”

He chuckled. “I used to make a lot of money remember?”

How could you forget? “I remember.”

You pulled into his driveway and parked, leaving the engine running but as you turned to look at him your stomach dropped. He was frozen, body tense and rigid.  
“Wonho.” 

There, standing on the porch, leaning menacingly against the railing, casually gripping a gun in his gloved hand. You froze. 

Before you could react Shownu was pulling a gun of his own out and stepping out the car. “Stay here and stay low.” He demanded, slamming the door shut. 

You watched with baited breath as the two men approached each other, Shownu taking slow careful steps. Wonho was yet to actually aim his gun. He appeared to be laughing. It made you feel sick with dread. You slunk down in your seat and squeezed your eyes shut. 

Their voices were muffled outside the car and you wished you could hear what was being said. Suddenly the drivers door was yanked open and you screamed as you were dragged out by your hair. 

“For someone that’s been dead for a year you look pretty good to me.” Wonho’s rough voice growled in your ear. You felt something cold tip your chin up and you realised he had his gun pressed into your skin. 

“Let her go.” You looked frantically at Shownu who was aiming his gun at both of you. 

“This is what you get for doing this to me.” Wonho snarled. You closed your eyes expecting the worst as your body trembled with fear. Wonho gripped you tighter.   
In an instant Shownu fired. It hit Wonho in the shoulder and he stumbled backward, letting you go. His gun went off and the bullet ricocheted off the steel door of your car. It made your ears ring. 

Shownu pushed past you tackling Wonho to the ground. He fired the entire round into Wonho’s chest. You collapsed to the ground in horror. 

Wonho was dead. You watched it happen with your own eyes. 

Shownu turned to you, panting, still looming over the body beneath him. “Are you OK?”

You nodded numbly unable to find your voice. You heard Shownu mumble to himself as he stood up, putting his gun away. It was frightening how routine it looked as he moved, like he’d done this a thousand times before. He probably had. 

He walked over to you and helped you up. “Here, go inside. I need to sort this out first then I’ll join you.”   
You looked down to see he was handing you a set of keys, that you assumed were to his house. You took another glance at the body on the ground before you could stop yourself. This was insane. You had to be dreaming. 

Somehow your feet carried you to the front door and you let yourself in, trying not to pay attention to the sound of Wonho’s lifeless corpse being dragged somewhere you didn’t want to think about. 

* * *

You weren’t sure how much time had passed when Shownu entered his home. You had sat down in the first room you could find – a stylishly decorated living room – and waited, trying to process what had just happened. 

“Can I get you anything?” His voice came from the door way and you looked up, shaking your head no. You noticed he’d changed his clothes and his hair was damp. Did he shower? “I didn’t expect that to happen. I know it’s a lot to see.”

He crossed the room and sat next to you. “You’re shaking.” 

You looked down at your trembling hands. You hadn’t realised you were doing it. “Fuck.” You murmured. 

“I’m so sorry y/n.”

“Seeing that brings up a lot of bad memories that’s all.”

He winced at your words, hurt flashing across his face. You hadn’t intended to guilt trip him, you were merely being honest.   
“Come here.” He said gently. You were pliant as he pulled you into his big arms, wrapping them tightly around your frame. “Do you want me to call Kihyun?” He asked as he rubbed your back.

“No.” You mumbled against his chest. “He will hate me for being here.”

You felt your body start to relax, the sensation of a warm embrace soothing. 

“What can I do?” He murmured. “I just want you to be alright.”

“Just hold me.”

He stayed silent but held you tighter. 

* * *

  
“There’s someone here trying to change our lock?” Kihyun said over the phone. After several unawnsered calls from him you had eventually answered. Shownu was watching you curiously as you spoke, still sat on his couch. 

“I know, I sent them,” You sighed. “My car was broken in to and my keys were stolen. Its just a precaution, Ki.”

“Fuck, y/n. Is something going on?”

“Listen its a long story. I’ll tell you when I get home.”

“Where are you now?” Kihyun asked curiously. 

You paused. You didn’t want to lie. “We will talk when I get home.”

“Right.” He said stiffly. You could tell he was suspicious and you dreaded the wrath you would receive. You exchanged slightly cold goodbyes and hung up. 

“I think I should probably get going.” You said turning to Shownu. You had spent a few hours at his gorgeous home, calming down. He had kindly made you food and let you stay as long as you needed. The contrast of the kind man versus the thug you knew he could be always made your head spin. 

“I’ll drive you. Your car has a bullet hole in it. That’s the fastest way to attract police attention.”

The drive home was silent but comfortable. Your mind was whirring and you were anxious, anticipating a potential argument with your boyfriend. Shownu gave you a long hug when you said goodbye. You promised to stay in touch. 

As you approached your door you saw it was already open, the locksmith still working away at the lock. “I live here.” You said awkwardly to him, shuffling by. “Kihyun?” You called out into the apartment. 

The sound of his footsteps could be heard as he moved through the apartment. In a flash he was wrapping his arms around you, pulling you into a rib crushing hug so fast that your arms were trapped by your sides. 

“I’m so glad you’re back.” He said pulling away. 

“Let’s sit down and talk once he – “ You gestured with a nod of your head towards the locksmith. “- leaves.”

Kihyun nodded. 

You walked to your bedroom and tossed your bag with little regard on to the floor and collapsed on your bed, exhausted. 

Around 20 minutes later Kihyun joined you. “The lock is all changed. The new keys are on table.”

To your surprise he joined you on the bed, throwing an arm over your torso and tugged you close. “Don’t do this if you don’t want to.” You mumbled, nuzzling into his chest. 

“I want to.” He assured. “Where did you go last night?”

“A hotel.” 

Kihyun visibly let out a sigh of relief. You knew he had half expected you to go to Shownu. “I’m sorry I drove you away.”

“I’m sorry I hurt you.” You said. He squeezed you affectionately in response. “You need to know something though. I was with Shownu briefly last night. Then again this morning.”

“Seriously?” He sighed and he began to push you away. It only made you grip tighter. 

“No. Stop. Listen to me.” 

He ceased his movements. He didn’t look happy. 

You explained everything that had happened in the last twenty four hours, from the break in to Wonho. Kihyun’s expression was a mix of disgust, hurt and confusion. When you finished he let out a long breath. 

“Does this mean this whole ordeal is over?” He asked quietly. 

“I hope so.”

“Good. You’ve suffered enough.” 

“There’s one more thing.” You hesitated for a moment, trying to find the least painful phrasing. “I love you... But I also still have some residual feelings for Shownu.” Kihyun’s face absolutely fell. “I’m not in love with him!” You added quickly. “Not by a long shot. But there’s something there.”

Kihyun slowly sat up, taking you with him. “This is a lot to take in and I’m trying to stay calm here y/n.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I don’t want to push you away again.”

“Then don’t.”

“Maybe we need to take a break.” His whole body slumped at the words, head falling into his hands. “You don’t love me the way I thought you did if you can have feelings for someone else. I couldn’t even imagine looking at anyone else.”

Your heart broke at the words. “Kihyun – “

“I don’t want to break up. I never wanted that but I think you need some time alone. You went straight from him to me after everything you went through. It was too much. I was selfish. I just wanted you so badly.”

“Do you really want this to happen?” You asked in a small voice. 

He lifted his head back up and there were tears in his eyes, threatening to fall. “No.” He sniffed. “I think if you love me, really love me some time apart will end with us together. You need to think about what you want. Without me guilt tripping you, without Shownu making moves on you.”

“Why are you so smart for someone younger than me?” You joked, trying to stop yourself from crying. 

“Kiss me.” He whispered, staring at you intently. “Just one more time before this all gets too real and I cry.”

You don’t need to be asked twice and you leaned over pressing your lips to his. The kiss was passionate, full of desperation and need. He pulled you tightly to him and you claimed into his lap, lacing your arms around his neck. 

“I love you, I love you so much.” He murmured against your lips. “I’m sorry for the way I’ve treated you lately. Let me make it up to you.”

It didn’t take long for him to strip both of you of your clothes and have you naked in his arms, thrusting into you slowly. Normally he would go at a much slower pace but both of you didn’t want the sex to be over, because that would mean the relationship would be too. 

He came inside of you and stayed like that for as long as he could, face buried in your neck, whispering your name. 

When you eventually clean up and separate you feel empty at the prospect of a life without Kihyun. You sort out the next phase of the breakup, him agreeing to move out but not take all his things just yet; it’s too painful. 

That night you went to bed alone for the first time in over a year. 


	10. Epilogue

**THREE YEARS LATER**

Affectionate thumbs rubbed up and down your growing belly and you hummed in satisfaction. You weren't far along enough yet to really be showing too much, but laying in bed with your shirt bunched up under your breasts it was clear as day to see; you were pregnant.

"Did you feel that?" You asked your husband that sat behind you. The baby had rolled over, sending flutters throughout your body. It had only happened a few times thus far and every time it was surreal.

"I did." He smiled, flashing you a toothy grin. You beamed back at him.

"It feels so strange." You mused.

"It's incredible."

You placed your hands on top of his as he planted a kiss on your lips. It was soft and sweet, the kind of kiss he'd give you with the promise of something more. "Mmm," You murmured. "Do that again."

He didn't hesitate and pressed his lips to yours harder, with more fervour, tongue slipping past your soft lips. His hands glided over your stomach delicately as he reached up to cup your breast, giving it a gentle squeeze. "Let me know if I hurt you. I know you're sensitive right now." He breathed against your lips before returning to your mouth.

"You're not hurting me." You replied. "I promise."

He shifted, kneeling over you as you lay on your back so he could use both hands to push your shirt up to your collar bones. He pulled down the cups of your bra and kissed his way to your nipple, taking the hard bud into his mouth. "Your boobs are bigger." He hummed against your skin and you laughed breathlessly.

"Everything's bigger. I hate it." You replied, hands threading through his hair holding him against your chest.

"I love it. It does something to me." He kissed his way down your chest, along your bump and to the waistline of your leggings. "You're beautiful." Hooking a thumb in the band he tugged them down your legs, tossing them recklessly somewhere in the bedroom, leaving you in just your panties.

Soft, wet kisses trailed up your ankle to your thigh while his free hand massaged the other one. "Hmm," You sighed. "These pregnancy hormones are wild, I can already feel how wet I am and you've barely done anything."

"Don't lie, you've always been dripping for me." He peered up at you, flashing you a devilish smirk. He pressed a kiss to your clothed core and you shivered. He repeated the action again, except this time running a tongue where your clit would be under the material making you physically whimper. "So wet." He murmured to himself as he stretched your panties to the side.

"Hyunwoo," You whined. "Lick me. Please."

"I'll never get tired of you using my real name." He purred before doing as you begged, unwilling to leave his wife wanting. His tongue was sinful, having eaten you out many times over the years he knew exactly what to do. Arms wrapped around your legs holding you in place as he let you grind against his mouth and already your orgasm was lingering.

"Oh _yes_," You moaned. "Just like that."

Hyunwoo moaned in response against your wet folds before dipping down and slipping his tongue into your tight hole, nose brushing up against your clit. You struggled to keep your hips still at the sensation and he gripped you harder. "Feels good, huh?" He teased and you nodded. His lips went straight back to your clit and he started sucking and licking knowing this would make you cum the fastest.

"Fuck, Hyunwoo, I'm gonna cum. I'm gonna - " You were cut off by your own orgasm, thighs shaking underneath Hyunwoo's large, strong hands. He slowed his relentless pace, letting you ride out your high before pulling away and licking his lips.

"That - " He said, crawling up your body and hovering over you so you were face to face. "Is still the sexiest thing I've ever seen."

"What is?" You replied, blushing.

"You cumming."

"God knows you've seen it countless times. It should be boring now."

"Never." He pecked your lips. "It's my favourite."

You laughed, playfully rolling your eyes. "Can we have sex now?"

"Sorry beautiful, we're going to be late if we do." He rolled off you and your eyes went to the very obvious tent in his pants. "Let's get cleaned up, don't want to keep your parents waiting at dinner."

"Then let's just be quick then." You said suggestively. He looked at you for a moment, considering your offer. He could never resist you.

"I could never say no to you."

* * *

Some weeks later you were shopping for baby clothes in a district you'd heard had excellent shops here. Hyunwoo was working, his private security business kept him busy, so you were alone. Not that you minded, your husband got bored with shopping very quickly unless it was toys for the baby you were after. He'd already bought more toys than any newborn could ever need.

You struggled somewhat as you walked, already having that slight pregnant waddle as you moved. In the last few weeks it was like the baby had a growth spurt and you were visibly showing in your dress. You wore black to try and look slimmer - you hated feeling so huge - but it was painfully obvious.

After managing to get a few of the items off of your list (deciding to wait for Hyunwoo to get a pram since you couldn't carry it) you thought you'd treat yourself to a hot chocolate. The lack of caffeine over the past 5 months was irritating but you allowed yourself to indulge in hot chocolate to compensate.

There was a small boutique coffee place you chose was cosy. It was decorated like it could have been someone's living room with mismatched oversized sofas and chairs. You noticed all the cups and saucers were odd too. It was cute. You ordered your drink and sat down in the comfiest looking sofa that you could find.

Your drink came and you smiled, snapping a quick pic to send to Hyunwoo, knowing he would smile when he saw how much whipped cream you had on it. It was a craving of yours. At one point you ate an entire can in one sitting.

As you sipped your drink, trying to avoid getting a whipped cream moustache, your eyes fell on a young guy sitting at a laptop, coffee in hand. You'd know that face anywhere. It was Kihyun.

Kihyun.

Your heart ached as it sank. It had been three years since you had last seen him in the flesh, let alone spoke to him. By his request, you remembered sadly. He'd made it explicit that he never wanted to talk to you again after you broke up for good. It hurt every time you thought about it.

The friendship that you once held so dear was long ruined. You tried to reach out once over the years but he blanked you, which you expected. It didn't stop you missing your friend, however. Despite everything that had transpired you missed that part of him.

As if by divine intervention he looked up and your eyes met. You held your breath.

Do you say hello? Wave? He hates you. Is it weirder to ignore him? Your mind was running wild. To your surprise he nodded his head in acknowledgement as if to say I see you but I need my distance. You looked down, feeling a little ashamed. You wished he'd talk to you.

The hot chocolate was almost finished when a voice pulled you from your thoughts. "Y/N?" You looked up to see Kihyun standing opposite, his laptop tucked under his arms.

"K-Kihyun." You were in shock. There was a long awkward pause, neither of you knowing where to go next. You made the first move. "Would you like to sit?"

"Um, sure." He walked round the table and took the only available seat on the sofa next to you. His eyes went to your protruding belly but he said nothing. "I did not expect to see you in my coffee shop." He gave an awkward laugh, shuffling in his seat.

"Yours?!"

"Yeah. I own the place."

"It's nice, I like it." You gave him a small smile. "It feels like...you."

"Thanks."

Another awkward pause. It was strange, you were used to feeling so comfortable and at ease with him. "Are you...well?"

"I'm doing good, yeah. Happy."

"Holly from the bar said you went to Europe, after we..." You trailed off, avoiding saying _after we broke up_.

"I did." He smiled this time. "Just needed to get away, y'know?" You nodded. "Are you well?"

"I am." Your hand automatically went to your bump, thinking of how satisfied you were with life at the moment. "I'm pregnant. Happily married. Work is great. I'm a boring old lady these days."

"I was going to ask about that - " He pointed to your stomach. "But you could have just gained 50 pounds."

You laughed. "Nope."

"It's weird to see you, and talk like this."

"I know." You said softly.

"I thought about calling you when I got back."

"Why didn't you?"

"Because getting over you was the hardest thing I ever had to do. I couldn't reopen that wound. Not then." He looked down at his hands that fidgeted in his lap. "It isn't easy to see you like this. Married. Pregnant. Happy...with someone else."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be." He shook his head. "I'm glad you're happy, really." The smile he gave you was wistful.

"You seem happy too."

"I am! Don't get me wrong. It's just not the future I thought I was going to have."

"Oh Ki," The familiar nickname just slipped out. You wanted to hold his hand but knew he wouldn't let you. "I'm sorry that things didn't work out. I still miss you though. I think about you all the time."

You do?" He quirked a brow in surprise.

"Of course! Just today I was buying baby clothes and got a little pair of the converse you used to wear. It reminded me of you."

"That's sweet."

"Mostly I just worry about you. I just want you to be happy."

"Classic y/n. Worrying." He teased. You laughed a little at his joke. "I have to ask this, and I'm not proud of myself for it but I need to know. Are you, uh, are you married to Shownu?"

You'd expected the question. "Yes."

He nodded slowly as if he didn't need your confirmation. "And everything's good?"

"It's great."

"I'm glad." He said quietly.

"Do you think we could ever be friends again?" You asked in a low voice. Something painful flashed across his face. "I'd really like this little guy to meet you one day." You gestured to your bump.

"I'm sorry y/n. I don't think so. Maybe eventually."

You sighed. You had hoped enough time had passed but obviously not. "Will you please come find me when you think you can? I miss my Kihyunnie."

"I promise." His eyes looked watery and it made you want to cry as well. "Good luck with the baby, y/n. You'll be a wonderful mom." He stood now, and paused before leaving. "In another life it could have been us."

"It could have been."

"Goodbye. For now."

"For now."

You watched him walk away, disappearing through a door marked 'staff only' hoping you'd managed to do some repair to your relationship.

* * *

After 28 gruelling hours of labour you gave birth to a perfectly healthy baby boy. Hyunwoo held back tears the first time his son was in his arms. You however cried like an infant at the sight of it, hormones leaving you with little inhibition in regard to your feelings.

Even if you were exhausted, emotionally and physically from the labour you were beyond content. Hyunwoo sat next to you on the hospital bed as you held your baby. You didn't have a name yet for him, waiting to actually meet him instead. He was perfect.

Your life was perfect.

You never thought you'd ever have a safe existence with Shownu but he hadn't been that man in a long time. He was Hyunwoo now, his birth name, the identity he had tried to run away from when he got involved with gang activity. It took some time and convincing to get him to welcome the idea of being Hyunwoo again, but here he was.

Hyunwoo who ran a successful business. Hyunwoo who was now a husband and a father. Hyunwoo who didn't have a room solely for weapons anymore. A man who lived an honest life and all it took for him to get there was falling in love.

"I'm so glad I moved in to that building all those years ago." He grinned, eyes never leaving the bundle in your arms. "I never would have met you otherwise."

"I'm glad too. I love you Hyunwoo."

"I love you too."

THE END

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I'm sad to leave this story behind, it was a lot of fun to write (soft Shownu gets me everytime lol) but I'm ready to write something new ;D


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